i am who i am

shugholum syadada

2009-03-16T21:45:00.002+08:00

last week 3 kenduri kawin.

rawang - aku tak kenal siapa yg kahwin.huhu. kawan Fati.perkahwinan biasa.maksud aku biasa bukan tak best n standard dia jatuh ke tahap biasa. maksud aku adat n flow biasa. majlis kat rumah perempuan. aku n fati datang bawak hadiah. makan. 'lauk ayam dia sedap' dahtu tunggu pengantin lelaki datang. kompang.mp3 pun di'play'kan n mkn2 potong kek. amik gambar. dahtu balik. biasakan?
Kota Tinggi- mamat kmj kawin. naik kereta pelik.pert dan atoi ada sekali.perjalanan yg sngt jauh dan beronak duri. belum aku naik kete si pelik, bateri dia rosak. berhujan kat shell tunggu nak beli batery spare.sampai JB lepak dengan kayap, amir, petpet, cheng, KLDK, Kecik, cik mus. layan ManU titik Fulham.yuhuu~.tapi Man U kene balik ngan Liverpool. damn it. tido bergelimpangan dekat umah kayap. pepaginye makan lauk ayam masak kantan, resepi baru mak kayap.pelik mkn bnyk. atoi pura2 makan sikit tapi makan bnyk. sampai kat kota pukul satu. mamat kawin bawah pedang sebab dia kapten TUDM. yang peliknya, majlis kat umah perempuan tapi pengantin laki lak duk tunggu pengantin pempuan. so tunggula kitorang lama2. panas kedahang. cheng dah mcm baru dalam bilik sauna.tepuk perut dia, ada bekas tapak tngn kat baju dia.peluh dah macam badak berendam da.cameraman suruh geng2 pengantin lelaki ami gambar cepat2 sebb nak suruh kitorang balik awal. kalau tak dia takut akan berlaku kekecohan diluar kawalan. taktik kameraman tu berjaya. lepas amik gambar trus kitorang balik. mandi airterjun 'mahal tapi tak best'.kene bayar sorang 10hinggit. mandi kejap, ujan plak. tapi aku, cheng, pert, pelik n atoy, buat bodo trus mandi. main gelongsor kat celah2 batu. bontot masing2 terhakis.tapi aku tak, sebb aku duduk atas, pancing konon2 tahan air jgn bagi laju. padahal aku tukang gelak. sekali bunyi petir pakej dengan kilat, barula sedar diri n naik darat. dahtu, balik melaka. p/s: Cheng, aku tau ko boleh n akan dapat. just truskan usaha murni mu.
Putrajaya. MAnok kawin. RSVP kat dewan seri siantan. muke manok lain siot. mcm muke keras jek. tapi makanan n tempat best. takde kompang pun majlis ni. kalau ada kompang kang, bergema plak dewan tu. menggantikan kompang, Hjh Robiah berzanji, dr pintu masuk sampai pelamin. Omar cakap suara tu suara lelaki. mengong. Penat Hjh Robiah tu buat suara soprano dia. dahtu lepas tepung tawar, Hjh tadi trus jadi saloma. nyanyi plak. ngan sorang lagi artis. Jin (ni aku yg dengar masa MC tu anounce) korang kenal Jin? takpe. aku pun tak kenal. ramai gile bebudak utp. ramai gile awek hot TKC. balik lepak Hartamas sampai 3 pagi ngan olin.

minggu ni memang sibuk mengalahkan saiful nang yg amik gambar org kawin tu.sbb aku kene amik gambar delegasi oversea yg datang ke kerteh ni. 3hari kene ikut diorang n amik gambar. kalau saiful nang tu da dapat 8-10K da upah. tapi aku hnya dapat mkn malam di hotel, sehelai koprat shirt.yahoo...

P/S: Dalam bnyk2 binatang, binatang apa yang paling laju. (soalan untuk pelik, atoy, cheng, amar n arina. kalau power jawab la) Hint: jawapan dah bagi.

one year old

2009-02-18T20:42:00.003+08:00

Semalam, 17/02/09 genap setahun aku di kerteh ni. genap setahun jugak la aku bergelar 'pemuda makan gaji'. Happy Anniversary to myself.

lately ive found myself really passionate into something which is i never expected before. GOLF. I love golfing. eventhough baru sekali 2 pergi driving range n tak pernah masuk green, i know, i would love this game. planning to buy one golf set already. sadly i have buyed one speed light for my beloved alpha.ni satu lagi hobby yang mahal. but its ok. as long i love it,i dont mind. kalau kite dah sayang, semua bende kite sanggup buat kan2??! tak semua org kot.. :)

there will be something big coming up... just wait n see... hehehe.

will be in kl this weekend to settle up some issue. heard that cheng also will be in kl. bagus2.

i need a long2 holiday, anyone.. aku cuti panjang bulan march. sesapa ada plan.. kamon2.

Thank GOD for the gift

2009-01-19T21:21:00.003+08:00

There is one long time ago that one of my 'best friend' telling me that she is getting engaged. And it was only a year ago that she sobbed that marriage is not coming to her way. Being the drama queen that she is, im felt a bit shocked. I want so much to be happy for her. Instead when i heard the news - for the first time in my life- I was speechless.

i didn't call her. Perhaps secretly, i was half expecting and hoping that she would come to her senses and call it off, but most of all, i become aware where my life was heading; of how our lives should as we grow older. Maybe, im afraid of it.

i am reluctant to admit but i am at a point where my life is evolving. if you could imagine a vertical scale beginning at very bootom that label as 'birth', then 'first step', followed by 'first word', so on and so forth. i think i would be place myself somewhere between the labels 'grow up for god's sake' and 'marriage'.

sometimes if i go through my routines lifes, obviously that its is changing from time to time. i was happy then i realised that m friends one by one are bitting the dust. i tried to revealed this to one of my friend and he concluded that it's because i haven't really "settle-down". unbeknownst of him, i have a secret hate about the phrase - "settle down". it sounds that i really doing something wrong or am seriously lagging behind everyone else.

"when do you really settel down, then?" i asked. "when you find THE ONE... and that could be a person or GOD" he answered. Essesntially that means that at the end of the day, your life could end in one of two scenarious; you find the person you're meant to devote the rest of your life. Faling which you surrender yourself completely to GOD. if in odd chances that you could find yourself stucjk between that, you must belong to a very rare and small percentage of populations.

i find myself adapting, adapting to that inevitable change and although it is quite a stark contrast to what i am used to be. i have to admit, im enjoying it. i am quite content to stay at home on weekdays and even as i am writing this, i have already showered, paid my dues to God, finishing having my less-salt-many-sossage fried rice and am sitting confortably in bed. the thing is its only 9. damn...

so, when most of my friends geting prepare to 'settle down', so to speak, what become of you? the singleton? i asked my dear old friend (who i think a bit similar pridiciment as me) if he would feel any preassure of finding someone so as not to be alone. he answerd "yes...ermm but not so much because i think marriage is just more to companionship. i would prefere it to be more than happy if it develops into something seriously" he asnwered.

i asked myself if that is the reason to get into a relationship. i mean that seems rather desperate and there is nothing more unatractive than being needy. but having contemplated, i realise that its just means that you are open to dating untill you eventually find that somebody who is worthly enough t spend the res of your life with.

but being a tiny servants of HIM, i do thanks for all the things that HE had gave and will be give ( InsyaAllah the best for me from the Almighty). im happy for what i get and try to put a smile in every thing that i need to face or every stumbling blocks that i need to climb off. in the end, i do believe, something goods is waiting. its just a matter of how we accept it. in a chapter of JODOH, i just can pray the best of it and once again its from HIM. hopefully everything going well and i really looking forward about it. hehe...

p/s: just want to take this tiny chance to say a BIG F**K to ISRAEL (shit... even to spell it makes me sick)... together we help PALESTENIANS. even though its just a 5 seconds pray.

a new chapter

2009-01-03T22:55:00.009+08:00

tak terlambat rasanye aku nak mengucapkan selamat tahun baru. selamat tahun baru hijrah dan masihi. tahun ni aku tak terasa langsung perubahan tahun. seblum2 ni kalau dekat tahun baru, sibuk pikir malam new year nak lepak mana, apa aktiviti taun baru. tapi taun ni sikit pun tak terlintas. walaupun aku dapat la undangan makan malam + karaoke bersama Saleem, tapi skit pun tak excited mcm dulu. ini ke tanda2 penuaan? :)

2008 bagi aku bnyk maknanye. perubahan demi perubahan yang berlaku. perubahan fizikal, mental, hidup, semua berubah.

aku sudah bergelar graduan. selepas 5 tahun bersabung kepala otak, akhirnya aku dapat jugak bersalam dengan Tun. sekeping ijazah ni la yang nak menentukan arah idup aku selepas ni. Alhamdulillah.

tahun ni jugak aku telah dilamar. dilamar oleh company idaman aku. nak target schlumberger, shell and exxon mcm tinggi sngt je cita2 tu. tapi aku tetap bersyukur. result aku masa kat utp taklah sehebat mana. boleh aku cakap memang tak hebat pun. Alhamdulillah, rezeki tuk aku masih ada. mayb berkat doa ibu n ayah masa pergi haji awal taun dulu, aku dapat kerja ni.

kat sinilah aku belajar hidup sendiri, kat sini lah aku belajar apa itu tanggungjawab, jerit perih seseorang bergelar 'pekerja' mencari rezeki. baru lah tau susahnye nak cari duit tu. n masa ni jugak la aku tau, bnyk duit n boleh beli apa yang kite nak belum tentu akan buat kite happy. :) hopefully tahun ni akan jadi tahun rezeki tuk aku, dapat bonus besar, increament tinggi.. (tamak2.. nyumm)

Dan inilah buah hati pengerang jantung saya. keluarga Hj Jamaludin. masih lagi tiada penambahan dan tiada pengurangan (Nauzubillah.. minta2 dijauhkan).NURUL ASWAD(berdiri paling kiri) dah ada ura2 bercinta tapi masih lagi merahsiakan percintaannya.aku tau tu. bile la nak dapat kak long ni. :) NUR RUZAINI(pki bj kurung kunun2 senyum manis tu) meneruskan penguasaan nya dekat UIA, dia masih mengekalkan rekod anak pakcik jamaludin paling pandai.tapi kantoi dating kat kedai makan alor gajah. sukahati la ani oi, yang penting ko pandai jaga diri. MOHD SHAHRUL ASHRAF(berdiri tengah2) dah jadi rakan masjid kat poli behrang.. bagus2. SHARUL AZFAR, baru dapat result PMR. bercita2 besar nak masuk UTP. dia kata best. (mcm abg dia..) pemain bola yang aku rasa terer skit kot dari aku. dan king and queen of the castle, HJ JAMALUDIN & HJH KATIJAH.(awal taun ni jugak ibu n ayah selamat menunaikan haji) what else to say other than I LOVE U SO MUCH.

itulah sedikit sebanyak coretan taun 2008.diharap taun 2009 ni menjadi titik tolak hidup aku untuk menjadi seorang yang berguna. at least berguna untuk diri sendiri. selamat berjuang kepada aku yang berumur 25 tahun~~

semoga aku menjadi 'orang'... AMIN..

money talk

2008-12-30T23:27:00.002+08:00

just went back from having 'special-less-ingredients-home-made' spaghetti.nnti nak lagi er u :P tq.. tq.. im not a big fan of spaghetti pun actually but miraclely tonight i do eat one whole plate of it. hehehe :)

at this moment i do struggling with a few things that related with money and future. 3 big things. CAR, HOUSE, and so called DUIT-KAWIN.hahaha

the thought of money (or the lack of it) almost always depress me. My mother for one, is the champion for invoking the state of my financials. Like the black holes, its a discussion that has no ending. Most times i just choose to walk away in the midst of her trying to prove her point as i know trying to prove mine would be futile.

its a sad affair, really. which is why i try to avoid discussing it though i know the fact of matter is, it will never go away. with more money, comes more responsibility, and more importantly, bigger desiress. Nothing could be further than the truth with someone claiming that their lifestyle will remain unchanged from the moment they move from a unpaid graduate to that management executive.-rubbish!!

" you have to put a side a fixed amount of savings every months that u can never ever touch", said a friend of mine that i i know is reliable enough when it came to money matters. "fair enough" i said to myself. i thought to myself, i can do it.

"work your expenditure to the very last detail."she added. Difficult with some pesky miscellaneous cost incurred from time to time, but i suppose, achievable.

"do not even think to get a credit card until u are REALLY stable to have one" she looked at me forcing to prove her point. "gila la minah ni" I retorted silently. this is 2008 honey, a card is essential.plus my jobs, sometimes required this valuable plastic things.

" try following those simple, basic rules and you ll be fine. trust me". truth is, i was anything but. not content with just swallowing it all like a fish. i explained to her my work life, parents fee, the things that essential and a few hundred bills that i have to account for every months. " then maybe you need to rethink your lifestyle. ask yourself all the time, do i really need this?" she finally added. that needless to say shut me up good.

from time we are born, we are so accustomed to all creature comforts that we get. they say changes comes with age and although i have toned it down a notch, i must confess. i do enjoy a good meal with my friends, once a while. but after that conversation on that fateful evenings, i founds my self assessing every situation, even when I'm buying a hair gel.

" Do i really need a gatsby when i can just by bryllcream?", " Do i really need that trousers even if they are the "in-thing" now?" " do i really need to eat at 'MESRA-MALL' instead of 'nasi-ayam-putih-sebelah-post-office'?" i do admit that sudden changes does not create a warm fuzziness deep within me. i still grumble and drag my knuckles on the ground, but more than anything, I'm curious to see if this will actually help me in a long run.

"think long term" that's my mantra for the moment. can also take as a new year resolutions. every time i walk past CK boutique and see those nicely-tempting jeans, "think long term!!" Every time i hold those feather-light weight Nike boots, it hits me like a tones of bricks " think long term!!"

so like beyonce, i shall be 'fighting temptations' and begrudgingly haul myself to the bank every months to save a fixed amount of money.

in the meantime, should any of you, could give me advice or anything, which one, "new CAR or new HOUSE" and any suggestion for the new valuable house.(places and price)

p/s: past few weeks, there's one anonymous (or more than one) had struggling giving me comments that smeels like marah, dendam or bengang. i dont know. if I'm doing any wrongs to you, I'm sorry. i cant publish ur comments but anyhow , thanks for visiting. :)

Awak..

2008-12-22T22:53:00.003+08:00

"Aku senang jalan perlahan,

tapi sekarang aku sedang berlari..dan tak berhenti..

seakan aku ini senang lari

Aku senang sesuatu yang lurus,

tapi sekarang aku bari dari kiri dan menuju ke kanan

seakan aku senang berbelok-belok

Aku senang matahari,

tapi sekarang aku lebih menanti malam,

seakan aku senang dengan kekelaman

aku bermimpi tentang pelangi,

tapi sekarang aku sedang menunggu mendung

seakan aku suka dengan hujan

aku mulai tak tau

dunia berputar,akupun berputar

padahal dulu aku punya poros,

tapi sekarang berbeda

aku melanglang buana dalam zaman

semakin kehilangan

dan kaki semakin rapuh dalam berpijak..

sudah..lelah..aku tak suka aku

aku mau aku

yang dulu...

aku mencari aku

aku kehilangan aku"

dengar seperti mustahil, tapi aku perlukan masa yang dulu.

Karma

2008-12-17T01:02:00.003+08:00

What u give, ull get back. thats hows karma works. on my side, i should belive in Qada' n Qadar. everything that happen to u or what ever things that u done, always have consequence.buat baik, di balas baik, buat jahat di balas jahat. simple is it?

thats what im feeling rite now, im in zone where, ill get what ever ive had done.now i feel the pain, dulu aku tak kisah, ikut suke.. but its okay, ill take it as a learning process.

one mistake ruin everything. everything that ive had build struggly.

am i deserve this?

if i got a chance to fix it, would the result will be fairytales-happyly-ever-after?

p/s: if u read this, just want u to know that, im still me. n i missed the old us.

Rupanya, aku bukan la malang sangat...

2008-12-15T23:02:00.005+08:00

just finished one presentation to PMC yesterday morning. a big "fuhhhh... legaaa". could imagine me myself jadi bahan 'tetakan' pagi tu. but lucky me. thanks to the presenter seblum aku tu yang dah drag time up to 30 minits. so just a run thru je la presentation aku tu. PD leh buat lawak tu kire ok la tu.

After the presentation, Manoks had gave me this one blog address. she said nice to be read.

"Panjang, ko baca blog ni.. ada org yang lagi malang dr ko.."

Cehh..

(sorry, the address of the blog cant be published due to certain circumstances.)

Korang pernah tgk cerita "CINTA" ni. yup, sounds a bit jiwang but kalau boleh aku nak paksa korang tgk cerita ni. sepatutnye sume pengarah muvie kat malaysia kene ada otak macam Khabir Bakhtiar ni. dgn jln cerite yang lain dari yang lain, ngan shot2 nice, camera angle yang kreatif gila babik. bgs2.. baru la berbaloi bayar tiket wayang RM10 tu.

ok, the main point is, ada satu plot dlm cerita ni yang mengisahkan si suami (rasihdi Ishak) telah di dump oleh isterinya (rita rudaini). masa tu aku terpikir, a bit spoiler la tuk filem ni sbb takkan la ada kes2 mcm ni. da kawin, ada anak n plus lakinye bapak la baik.. siap surprise nak bgi rumah lagi. tu pun kene dump. atas alasan isterinye dah jumpe soul mate.masa tu aku punye la mencarut dlm hati... mencarut kuat2 kang aku balik kene carut ngan org dlm wayang tu. not to be bias on any gender pun. but if the situation vice versa, aku carutkan jugak lakinye tu.

tapi lepas aku baca blog yang si manok ni bagi kat aku, baru la aku tau, ada jugak spesis mcm ni kat dunia ni. ingtkan dlm muvi jek.

secara ringkasnye aku bgtau isi kandungan blog tu. blog tu adalah hasil karya seorang wanita yang bergelar isteri kepada si S ni. memula aku baca happy je kisah hidup diorang, berkahwin, berpuasa sama2, beraya sama2. tetapi rupa2nye, baru 2 bulan kahwin plus 7 tahun bercinta, si isteri minta cerai pada si S ni. kenapa? sbbnya sebulan sebelum menikah dengan si S ni, si isteri ni kunun2 nye pergila berjumpa dengan EX nya yang dulu, si H. n what really happen was, si isteri ni some how the old LOVE spark had lighten up once again. so the short meet up become a regularly dating. and she admit that she fall really2 depp into si H ni, padahal 2-3 hari ni nak nikah ni. can u imagine how does she innocently, wear the baju pengantin and bersanding with S padahal, deep into her heart she love another guy. i really hope dat the story end at that point.

tak abis lagi rupanya, infact, after marriage, si isteri lagi kerap dating ngan H, went to Australia with H while S in malaysia working with all his will tuk mencari rezeki nak bagi isteri makan. S**T... masa ni aku da menyirap gle la baca..(EMOSI gak la aku time ni...) dengan selamba si isteri ni boleh cerita all this thing dlm blog dia. plus agak kurang hajar jugak perilaku si H ni.. dia boleh proudly upload the picture he with the isteri into his facebook. mana la hilang rasa perikemanusiaan mamat ni aku pun tak tau.... malu aku ada lelaki mcm ni kat dunia ni.

so at the time blog tu ditulis, these legally couple dah tak duduk sekali. and in a process for divorce. haih... and guess what, after further browsing thru this blogs, aku baru tau, si S dlm blog ni was my best friends masa aku keje kat kl dulu. lagi la aku mencarut... aku plak baru jumpe mamat ni minggu lepas n aku plak tanpa rasa bersalah pergi tanya, "S, mana bini ko?" demns.... mcm mana la dia rasa bile aku tnya mcm tu...

betul la Manok, ada org lagi malang dari aku...

Moral of the story is, jgn sayang orng sgt2.. hahaha.. what ever pun "DONT SETTLE WITH 2nd BEST"

My level of working energy had drop to 30%...MALAS... "Tonik Penghapus Malas".. sapa ada?

its me again

2008-12-13T00:19:00.004+08:00

heyy.. time goes by so fast, i dont even realized it had been like 10 months? 11months? of 'missing in action'. there's a few times that i wanted to start throw some junks into this blogs but dunno y tak kesampaian. sometimes feel so malas, dah nak start typing, idea plak takde and sometimes rasa mcm.. "ermmmm.. ada ke org baca?" but who cares... hahahaha..

so far, i dont changed alot. still sempurna semua pancaindera, Alhamdulillah. rambut tak panjang2,( bengang gak la nak tunggu rambut ni panjang balik). janggut da beribu kali cukur, and fracture on my right foot become worst. other than that, im still in a piece.thats on my physical

working life,still in kerteh and perhaps will be stranded here for about another 5 or 6 years? or maybe selama lamanye. aku tak kisah... tapi keje da makin bnyk and makin memeningkan.so skang ni da boleh cakap ngan bebudak sekolah, " korang enjoy la life blajar ni habis habisan.. kalau tak menyesal macam aku".

still single, as in tak kawin lagi. ibu da start tanye2, bile nak kawin. adoilaaaa.. nape dia tak tnya abg aku dulu. but i know, she doesnt mean pun to push me for dat. saje je dia geli2 nak ada cucu.insyaAllah, niat di hati tu memang ingin menikah.but with who, when and how.. still on HIS willing. im still waiting for the mysterious gift from the Almighty.hopefully and i know, surely it will be the best for me. sabarr~~

see.. ive told ya, bila da ngadap laptop ni sume idea dah hilang kemana tah.

its getting late, drive all the way from melaka to kerteh and now im alone here in my house on friday night doing nothing. thanks to PMC presentation on sunday. slide satu haram tak buat lagi. haih.

The Job

2008-02-13T17:11:00.004+08:00

It's now official.

Company : PETRONAS Carigali Sdn Bhd - PMO Division
Job title : Maintenance Engineer
Location : KERTEH
Report Date : 17th feb

there's the latest. just cant wait to live in my new world

new world

2008-01-23T23:00:00.000+08:00

so long this blog had been mute.. ni pun curi masa kat cc ayoi n wrote down something.

ive been employed..

yuhuuu~~

yup, Alhamdulillah ive been employed by Petronas Carigali.

wish me luck k :)

later...

i WAS a student

2007-12-08T16:08:00.000+08:00

last wednesday was my last duty as a student. final project presentation.Alhamdulillah everythings going well. even dr arazi apa tah yang dia tak puas hati ngan aku, 2 sem asik mengondem project aku. but who cares, im done..

after last paper

no more study. and everyone start worying about job. ada yang da dapat placement. ada jugak yang da start keje. bagusla. for me, not yet. just one interview waits me. maybe after christmas.

just got another 3-4 days to spend a last moment in utp. i know i would miss all the moment, but for time being, put that a side, i cant wait to go home. cant wait to start working. any works would do.

if i can draw the feel after graduating, mine is not so colorful... should be i felt happy, seronot, huhahuha.. but ada aje prob yang datang. tak putus2 datang. takpela. maybe its a sign.. apa pun, happy graduating to all utpians..

im done

we done it

and we...

feel damn happy

Finale

2007-11-11T19:16:00.000+08:00

counting days to end my student life. last final for my entire life ( i wish.. since takde terlintas langsung nak amik master).

19th - Building design n technology

24th - Basic Arabic language

26th - Drilling n Production tech

28th - Marine n offshore struct

4th - FYP Presentation

not so lucky wif the timetable, but, what to do?

but between that period, i need to go back to malacca on 21 n 22. my parents will do the Haji this year. sadly cant join the kenduri on 17th. hopefully there will save towards all the journey.

one more things. my boots break into 2. tu petandanye dia suruh belajar..no more main2.. but den, i love the boots so much. the best boots ive ever have. remember my first boots, back in 98 (sekolah rendah dulu not counted sbb sekolah sponsored) a pair of PUMA. bought by my old man. tak silap, RM69 kot. masa tu mahal da kot. after dat, Adidas.. form 3, naik form 4, Adidas Predator first edition. 2 years using that boots..masuk U, 3 pairs of NIKE. but this nike mercury is my feveret..tought, this will be the last, tapi patah plak, adoii..

wish me luck in struggling the last moment as a student.

after Eid-Fitri

2007-10-27T18:01:00.000+08:00

back from raya holiday. got another weeks before study weeks n final will be started. feeling greats. nice raya holiday. nice family time and nice hang out times..

alot of open house, sehari tu cecah 11 rumah gak la. not actually open house, but den nama pun raya kan, 24-7 ar kene open house.

i can called this raya is a 'friends edition'.. nasib baik la raya first tu ayah ajak balik jasin.kalau tak memang tak jumpe sedara la aku. spent most of my time with fren. bgn pagi, trus kuar, balik malam. if i want to tell the detail, tak menang tgn nak tulis. so kesimpulannye, raya ni best.

thanks to those lovely friends.good to have all of u. ramai da dduk melaka skang ni.casper je la yang kene rajin rider balik melaka. bgs2. senang nak ajak korang buat bende2 mungkar....

eating alot of food, smpi muntah~yup, i puke twice. haha..

no pic raya for this raya. blame CNN for that.. oh yeah. CNN doing one documentary at my house. and my family is the actressess. they making a documentary about, how malaysian malay celebrate ramadhan n raya.they said it will be distributed for more than 30 countries worlwide. from day one puasa u until raya, sume activities had been recorded, masuk hutan amik buluh, bakar lemang, ibu pergi pasar, berbuka up untill gi semayang raya, gi kubur.

so thinking of taking fmily pic when that salam2 time, but tak boleh nak buat apa because CNN tu nak recorded the moment. ceish

but now, back to utp wif a tones of work. FYP, test, final exam... demn~~

i want to have a holiday... anyone?

Eid-Fitri

2007-10-10T05:02:00.000+08:00

im going home :)

to those people that spending their little time reading my blogs, i want to say sorry for everything that ive doing wrong. zahir n batin.

wish u the best raya ever.

assalamualaikum.

haih

2007-10-07T17:55:00.000+08:00

how to seperate people yang hangat dilamun cinta?

its hard rite? plus the things which blocks their so-called 'cinta suci' is their own PARENTS. im used to be feel like tak aci la if parents sibuk2 to stop or block the relationship but times flew by, and now i think the parents sometimes have right to stop the relationship.

theres many cases ad reason that parents dont want their children not to be with their couples. some are with stupid and narrow minded reason such as money, life style, kedudukan and bla bla bla.. i called that stupid because thats have nothing to do with happines.. takde duit? boleh kerja. takde pangkat? boleh cari. but happiness yang tak bleh dibeli.

different cases if the parents stop their lovely children to stop seing their the couples if the couples clearly not suite for their children. kaki pukul? kaki perempuan? kaki kikis? many other reason.

we ( i said 'we' coz i think the one that read this blog is sume2 yang blum kawin kan?and belong as a anak to our parents kan kan?) as a anak i think sometimes should consider what our parent's opinion. our parents da besarkan korang darila sebesar tapak tangan sampai la korang besar panjang ni, takkan la diorang nak tgk korang tak happy. parents mana yang taknak tgk anak diorang happy.

for me, parents and family still have the greatest priority in my heart. for me these people are everything. i dont want to feel the happiness at my own. if im happy, so do they. if there are not happy, vise versa. i know my parents more than any people in this earth and my parents know me better than myself. im not the typical anak soleh or anak ibu @ ayah yang ikutt je cakap diorang ( even all of us should always obey on them aite?), but this is who i am. sometimes yes i do had some ketidaksepahaman wif my old man but i know they do tegur on this and that coz of some reason.

i do lucky to have a parents that let me to decide which road that i want to follow. some parents are stricly want their children to be what they want to be. not what their children loves to be.( as in mcm education la.. ada mak ayah yang paksa anak amik medic la, acount la..) at this point i can see that my parents dont 'tegur' for no reason. make sense gak la kan. not just me, but sume my adik beradik, our life depends to ourselves.

ok, new question.

what would u do if u are the person that need to 'putuskan' others relationship?
same roots probs, PARENTS.

what would u do if u are the person that OTHERS PARENTS, ask to seperate their daughter @ son relationship. haha.. so guys? any suggestion? what should u do if u are on this situation. welcomed any suggestion...my prof, Dr Kurian once said that 'u can control action, but cant control reaction' i do agree wif him. u can control what u want to do, but u cant control others people tought.

haih~ enough on that...

im not a big fan of rugby, but i do loves the game. (played it once back in teknik dulu, but cant see 185cm winger can past thru easily :P ) but last night game was magnificient.

england vs australia - so so la game dia (tak tgk pun sbb masa ni masa bersukan di malam minggu :P). but my friends told me that this is not an England wons, but wilkinson wons.dah dia je yang buat drop kick tu... huhu ( to denise, etho wallabies kalah, aku nak jugak tau baju dia.. haha)

damn loves his kick

france vs all blacks - game ni aku tgk..huu~~ best2.. walaupun try tak bnyk, but i can see the passion and spirit of both teams to win. especially all blacks la kan. with records of 45 games for both teams, all blacks had won 34 of them and just once draw. on paper, all blacks la kan.. but who knows ( if soccer, we can say, bola tu bolat, apa2 leh jadi..errr kalau rugby?) all blacks kalah~~ huhu.. 11 minutes to go, france got one more try and for me, the try should not been counted cos it starting from the forward pass.but hell michalak is fast... demn!! wheres the video reff? but credit to france gak la, they defends their side like it makes of gold and they lucky All blacks twice give france turn over at 10 feets on france touch line.

we just can see this next 4 years :)

next to go

springbrooks vs fiji and argentina vs scotland

hectic

2007-10-05T10:49:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum

at last, im home.. eventhough for just a couple of days but ive had a max fun. catching up wif my old-bestest-hometown friends. plus my twins pun ada.next season he will play for Malacca. yes, surely got free ticket.haha damn,we have a lot of laugh. leaving up all the serabutness of my project, assignment,all the probs are forgetten when im wif them. hanging out up untill sahur.

this is at tmn cempaka. the biggest midnight sale during hari raya. u can get everything here.

4.30am... location? hahaha

but something also happen. :( i 'accidentally' ter'accident'kan ayah's 'baby'.. im so clumsy.. haih.. rasa bersalah gle kat ayah. im so afraid to get back home after that incident happen. balik2 umah je sume tgh buke, ketar2 jugak la nak masuk umah tu. my dad is the 'garangest' dad ever. tp tu dulu la.masa sekolah rendah dulu.since da masuk sek men,ayah tak pernah marah. but still, kitorang adik beradik still rasa ayah garang. speechless masa ibu asking me why balik lmbt. "err.. kete ada eksiden skit.." but, ayah wif selamba faces continuing makan like nothing happen. but i know, he was very2 upset on what happen to his car :( im so so rasa bersalah.

my house also got complete makeover. balik2 je terkejut gak la umah da jadi pink.. haha.. and on the inside, yellow~ matching wif langsir la kunun2.. :P plus, i have a pet cat.ibu yang bela, she soo loves the cat. n the cat also so manja. even it sleeps in a master bedroom. ceish

ignoring that i got one presentation, my quick holiday was superb. except that car incident la. i guess my raya nnti i have to be boss. pekyol n brother bi', u need to pick up me at home la kalau nak jalan2.

back to utp, pre-edx presentation are wating. pre-edx is like a qualification round that every fypII student need to get through. to get places in EDX nnti la. but for my, its such a burden. and please, to all jury, dont pick me. like has said, edx is such a pain in a ass..haha. i guess her right. stayed all night long to prepared the poster.

expecting a lot of ngarut n belit question from dr saeidi.. but at last, he just concern about ,my long topic. ciss..

the presentation going fine. even last minute changed to my evaluator quite 'mengganggu konsentrasi', but everythings going well. no tough question being asked. but im surely that im not going to EDX becaus, both my evaluators doesnt like my poster. haha.. one comment, my title was soo long, need to be adjust to make it shorter. i kind of aware of that but, long topic looks cool aite?hahaha..

its just about 4 days left before once again balik kampung. for raya. damn, cant wait for dat...

9 months

2007-09-23T05:32:00.000+08:00

assalamualaikum n hello to everyone.

this blog have been statics for about 9months. up untill this stage i dont know if there are still viewers for this little tiny nonsense crap. for those that still visiting, thanks for ur little time. i appreciate it so much. but still, here i am typing something for kill my golden-but-wasted time :)

thinking of cathing all the moments that happens 9 months backward. but dont know if i could remember the detail.

back to last year, i ve managed to finished 8 months of my interns at UEM World. quite sad but at that moment, tak sabar nak balik U. after all 8 months hidup as a working person, without assignment, stay up, group project, dateline, submition and bla bla bla.. all the student staff, tibe2 kene hidup as a student balik. damn hard to catch the feel as a student. lepas balik U tu rasa malas gle. but luckily ive managed to get 4flat for my internship. oh yeah, i think just UTP is applying pointer that will effect the CGPA on our internship. no other U take internship as part of the CGPA. so.. here i am. deans list for first time ever in my life.. yuhuu~

tapi kalau cakap kat budak utp, memang tak heran la deans list masa praktical. almost 99% kot yg dapat 4.00 flat :P. but still..

bukti dapat deanlist.. haha

i do thanks my supervisor back in UEM. mr Hatta, mr Ainul, mr Azman. they helps me alot. n of course to those wonderful officemate, kak lela, nazghun :P , shah, bahah, n wan kecik. takde diorang sure bosan gle kat office. i do miss all of them n mayb one day if i was in KL, ill be visiting them. bile korang masuk office baru nnti aku datang ar.

raya posing kat office

ive learnt alot from each person in this office, even takdela ramai sngt but i enjoy alot. mana taknye, ive been treated like permanent staff, got laptop/pc(forsurela ngan internet kan. siap dapat email uem lagi), personal desk phone, n ni yang aku rasa sume2 intern tak dapat tapi aku dapat, pajero company plus card petrol shell...haha.. heaven2. seyesly best..this is the starting moment i do realize i loooovvveee photography. mekasih la nazrun n cik wan yang bnyk tolong. so lepas je abis intern kamera pun tade.. soo tempang la.. somebody, pleaseee.. nikon D40X..haha. gle ngidam

ok enough for intern story.

back to utp. last sem (feb-jun), errmm.. sem yang paling banyak bende jadik. ada best n ada plak yang tak best. damn!!

ok.. how to start,errr.. ok citer pasal bende2 best ar.. for me the are no other things yang best kat utp ni selain dr football.. haha. yup i do love football( kalau kat aussie tu soccer la ye nadia :P). as usuall, UTP League. this edition, ive played with a new team, old team with new faces. i could say the best team ever. n bolehla kata team paling kuat (based on player yang men team ni). KORMU BORKU FC. apa kormu borku tu, panjang citenye :P but got chances playing wif 'star' utp memang la best. besides me, acap, bibiq, ali, pait, nyzaz, nazmi, hisyam and marzuki, sume 2 ni pernah men for utp in MASUM or Celcom Cup. kire line up paling kuat la konon2. sume org mcm cakap "gle kuat team ni".. tapi.. kalau dah sume2 tu kuda2 tua.. haha.. competing wif so do i can called junior2~ memang perit. yela.. stamina diorang stamina org mude, yang kitorang2 ni dah expired..haha.. sadly, kitorang tak sampi pun knock out stage. plus, my ankle crack :( doc said that i cant play for 2 months, gle apa tak bersukan 2 bulan.missed 2 important match. tu yang kalah tu. hahah..but i do have a lot of happy moment playing wif them.

kormu borku~~

study mcm biasa la.. tunggang langgang, taking 7 subject, got only one A, sadly my final year project faces massive dissaster. dahla kene masa presentation... haih.. so, kempunan la nak dapat A for fyp, 4 crdt hour k..

this is probbably my end product for fyp. but, haihhhh... tensen tul aku. at the end, with my new SV, we decided to changed the whole topic. but den ok la.. with new topic, takde lagi la stuck2 nak pikir solution baru. im happy wif that. as long i managed to get through, ok la.

sosial life? haha.. ni la part yang tak best untuk diceritakan. got some a little missunderstanding with me n one of my so-can-called baest fren la kat utp ni. ive tried everything to fixed up, but things got worst. sedey gak la. sbb we are on the final year. tak smpi 5 bulan je lagi duk sesama. but Alhamdulillah, everything goings ok rite now. no more masam2 muke n pulau memulau. even ada jugak yang stil terbawak2 smpi skarang ni, takpela.. n if i do did the wrong thing, sorry la ye.

so sem ni, aku mulakan everything from zero, my friends, my self, my study,and my relationship (haih..), yela kan da final sem da pun. tak lama lagi da nak keje. takleh lagi la nak huha2 mcm skang ni.

interview petronas aritupun tak berapa best.. so just tawakal. thats only i could do. hopefully managed to pikat org HR petronas tuk bagi aku keje.

i want to enjoy my student life as much as i could.4 subject this sem, not as heavy as before but it makes me more lazy than before. klas ada sikit plus lect yang ermmm.. 'kureng' beest method pengajaran nye, memang tak gi klas la.. haihh~

filling my free time mostly with my housemate. sports and karoke is the main agenda. tak tau la apsal diorang ni suke sangat karoke.. but sports tu memang best la. on evening play football n badminton, continued with table tennis @ volley @ futsal on the night.. damn its good. we did it every night. but skang ni takleh la.. nak terawikh lagi..

ermm there are amny thing to jog down.. but tetibe cam malas plak. :P

part2 mayb? :P

scarline.fotopages.com

khairulizwan in friendster

ive learnt

2006-12-27T00:13:00.000+08:00

ive learnt how to hate you
everything you say and everything you do
all your lies and all your empty promises
your stupidity and your ego
your ever-changing mind and your selfishness
the way you said 'ive learnt' but in fact you learnt nothing

ive learnt how to hate you
the way you never say thank you whenever i did something nice
the way you only say i love you when there is something in it for you
the way you were never grateful of having me by your side
the way you seek me when you're low, but leave me when you're high

ive learnt how to hate you
despite all of my hopes, my dreams
despite of your unreachable dramas
despite the fact that we were once happy and blessed with the presence of each other
despite the fact that part of you will always be buried in me
despite in realisation, ive lost my true love

ive learnt how to love you
but that was before
it is easier to love than to hate
ive learnt, that everything comes to an end
fruits rot, trees grow old, leaves turns yellow
and so do us
we've come to our end, our finish, our closing stages

ive learnt how to hate you
but i dont want to be forever hating you
i grief my lost, and i move on
but the memory of you stays
and i wont try to erase them
ill be praying for the happiness of both of u

i promise

credit to Ms Macy.. :)

to love is to let go

2006-12-17T15:18:00.000+08:00

what is love? one might ask. love is abstract, and how you elucidate it, wholly depends on the individual themselves. the topic of love never bores the human mind. its interpretation is ever changing, ever evolving and yet, is still dumbfounding.

the meaning of love might differ from each person with different religions, ethnicity, age, gender, and backgrounds. to a couple growing old, love might represent the years they have been together, and how they would maybe one day die in the hands of each other. to teenage lovers, love might signify their promises and hopes, which to their adolescent minds, everything is possible. and to a married couple, love could mean, as cliche as it is, staying together for the kids.

all these are the more specified definition of love. how about its general interpretation? does love mean caring about each other. does love show by showering one with gifts? is love felt when your heart races each time you are near that one person, and your eyes automatically searches for that person everytime you enter a room? does it mean that you love someone when you cant stop thinking about that person, and you want to be with him/her at all times?

and yet again, can it be called love when there is only one person involved in something that is supposed to be a two way road? and in this said 'road', will there be any signboards to help us through, or even billboards to advertise a way out when we've had had enough? will there be speedtraps and bumps, that would slow us down when we're going too fast, and traffic lights that would tell us when to stop when the time is right? or are we all alone in this road, with no guidance what so ever, and the only voice we could hear comes from our heart?

yes, i do ask a lot of questions. but its all for a good cause. there is this saying, "to love is to let go". loving someone means letting them go, giving that person freedom to do whatever he/she wants. tell me, how many people actually believe in that? in letting go i mean. letting go is hard, and i am saying this from personal experience. i am pretty sure you have experiences similar like mine. so what is the deal with this 'let go' thingy? that is one question that remains to stagger the human mind. my mind, to be exact.

oh well, i leave you guys to answer my questions. you might not agree with me, but again, theres another saying that goes "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder". so there :)

one more thing, can you put a valid period on love? ofcourse you cant right? be wise guys

Al- Fatihah

2006-11-23T22:58:00.000+08:00

jam 9 pagi masa aku tgh syok mengulat kat kedai makan depan opis aku, meriah kitorang gelak pagi tu. tipon aku berbunyi.

-Rumah- ?
aku ingatkan orang kat opis cari aku...

Assalamualaikum..

wa'alaikumsalam.. abg iwan, ani ni..

haa.. ani. kenapa?

abg kat... mana... niii... tak clear..

tak dengar la..

tett.. end call.. aik. apsal plak ni

tak smpi seminit, hp aku berbunyi. 1 new message

-Ani-

Assalamualaikum.. abg iwan, sorry tadi tak clear. ni nak bgtau.. NANA dah tade.. ibu surh balik melaka skrg gak. bgtau abg nurul gak.

dumm.. hati aku macam kene sambar petir masa tu.. gelaka tawa aku kat kedai mkn tu terhenti macam tu je.nasi lemak sambal manis tu tiba2 terasa kelat. alam sekililing ni tiba2 sunyi.tak tahu apa yang aku rasa. tak tahu apa yang aku nak buat. tak tahu mcm mana aku perlu react dlm keadaan yang mcm ni. yup, ni kali pertama aku berada dlm situasi ni. org penting dlm hidup aku pergi meninggalkan aku buat selamanye.

aku memang seorang yang always thinking on a bad side. always thinking bout worst case scenario.in any situations. aku pernah jugak terpikir seblum ni.mcm mana nnti kalau NANA dah takde.. dan sekarang aku betul2 berada dlm situasi tu. apa yang aku perlu buat?

NANA.. siapa NANA? sihatnye aku hari ni, membesar nye aku hari ni semua adalah hasil air tgnnya.22 tahun aku membesar, NANA sentiasa ada dengan ku. malah NANAlah yang menjaga kami lima beradik dari kecik sampai besar. tapi tanggal 15 november 2006, NANA meninggalkan kami selamanya.

aku tak tau. kenapa kami 5 beradik memanggil arwah dengan panggilan NANA. bukan opah, nenek or tokwan. ibu cerita, abg nurul aku yang start panggil arwah mcm tu.sejak dia kecik. dan kami adik2 mewarisi panggilan tu. panggilan khas untuk orang yg istimewa dlm hidup aku. mcm tu juga dengan arwah. beliau juga ada memberi special 'nick' name tuk kami lima beradik. setiap darinye ada terselindung sebab dan cerita yang tersendiri.

satu jam setengah. amik abg aku kat puchong. singgah kajang plak kat adik aku. n trus balik melaka. dengan kereta aku yang gasketnye yang dah bocor, aku tekan jugak pedal minyak.

aku 3 beradik disambut ngan pelukan dan tangisan ibu. matanye merah keletihan. pipinye basah keletihan. bibirnye kering kelesuan. aku sbgi anak mengaku yang aku masih tak dapat menyelami perasaan ibu masa tu. aku takkan dapat paham. ibu anak tunggal. semua perjalanan hidup NANA, susah payah, senang lenang NANA semua ibu harungi. tak sanggup aku tengok ibu aku mcm tu. aku cium tgnnye. aku kucup pipinye.aku peluk ibu. hanya tulah kemampuan aku masa tu.

dahlahtu ibu... hanya tu yg terkeluar dr mulut aku. aku harap ianya membantu.

kebiasaannye aku disambut ngan senyum NANA. "ehh.. SELAMAT dah balik.." SELAMAT adalah panggilan manja NANA kat aku. kenapa selamat? nnti aku ceritakan.. tp skarang tidak lagi. rumah tu sunyi tanpa ceritenya. rumah itu kosong tanpa selokanya.

sebak? sedih? kelu? aku pun tak tahu

perlahan aku amik air semayang. duduk disebelah jenazah.surah yassin ditepi kepalanya aku capai. aku semacam tak percaya.aku rasa mcm NANA hanya tido. serentak dengan bacaan yassin, air mata aku turut mengalir. ayat demi ayat aku ucapi, setitik demi setitik air mata ku deras mengalir. segan? malu? tu semua hilang. lama sngt aku rasa bacaan yassin aku kali ni. berat sgt mulut ni nak menghabiskan ayat2 suci ni. ibu duduk disebelahku. tanap sepatah ayat pun dia menepuk bahu ku. dan aku tahu apa maksudnye.

sekali lagi aku tewas. gagal mengawal perasaan ku apa bile jenazah siap dikafankan dan aku tahu. itulah kali terakhir aku akan dapat mengucup dan melihat wajah seorang BIDUANITA didalam hidup aku. aku menangis semahunya. aku tau NANA tak suke aku berkeadaan mcm tu . tapi aku tak dapat tipu diri sendiri. kehilangannye betul2 aku rasakan.

semalam genap seminggu.tapi jauh dalam hati aku ni. aku terasa NANA still ada menunggu aku di rumah. dan kucupan nya di pipiku setiap kali aku ingin keluar dr rumah akan sentiasa aku rasakan.

kepada semua yg membaca. harap sedekahkanlah allahyarhamah dengan bacaan al-fatihah. moga rohnye ditempatkan dengan golongan orang yang beriman.

:_(

Aidilfitri 1427

2006-10-19T09:19:00.000+08:00

Aku ingin mengambil kesempatan ni tuk minta maaf kalau ada tersalah silap, semua yang aku termakan terminum tu aku minta korang halalkan. kalau ada termengumpat, terguris hati, aku harap sangat korang boleh maafkan aku. kepada yang nak balik beraya tu, drive bebaik. kepada yang tak dapat balik raya tu, jgn sedey2.. jgn ingt korang beraya kat tmpt jauh tu, takde orang yg ingt korang kat sini.. ada je.. apa pun,

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI
&
MAAF ZAHIR BATIN

berbaju melayu hijau, berserban merah

2006-10-09T09:07:00.000+08:00

as u can see, my blog is still uder construction. no links, blog counter, shoutout box and bla bla bla. got my syelf really busy la lately. busy ngan kehidupan seharian. kalau weekdays tu memang tak dapat la nak duduk depan pc lelama. ada aje bende yang nak kene buat. futhermore, masa plak tade. balik keje da petang, buke, terawikh.. pastu tido.

semua orang yang dah baligh tau apa tu semayang terawikh. 8 rakaat?16? 20? terserah kemampuan memasing nak buat berapa. masjid2 n surau2 yang seblum ni sunyi jek tiba2 diserbu orang. orang2 yang tak pernah menjenguk masjid, macam aku ni.. hahah.. tiba2 menjadi rajin tuk ke masjid. sesama jemaah semayang terawikh. itu tandanye masyarakat kite ni still ada kesedaran lg. bagus2.

masa sahur bile tah, aku terdengar ada ustaz ni cakap, orang2 kite ni rajin buat ibadah musim. macam terawikh ni la. lepas abis je puasa, sunyi balik la surau2 tu. harap2 boleh la still bertahan sampai lepas2 bulan puasa.lebih2 lagi aku ni.amin..

aku tak ingat, malam ke berapa. sampai2 je kat surau vista ni, orang tgh semayang isyak. aku masuk n pegi ke saf belakang.. takkan nak masuk depan plak kan. sampi je kat saf last tu, mata aku tertarik kat sorang budak kecik ni. comel.. comel sangat.

yang buat budak kecik ni menjadi intention aku bukan sebab kecomelan dia. budak kecik sume comel kan.. tapi sebab 'kesudian' dia mengikut ayah dia pergi jemaah kat surau tu yang buat aku kagum sangat.

untuk pengetahuan korang, surau vista angkasa ni takdela seselesa surau2 lain yang ada air cond or kipas keliling surau. surau kat vista angkasa hanyalah parking lot berbumbung yang di ubahsuai jadi surau. tapi Alhamdulillah la. sebab still jadi surau kan, tak jadi tempat orang hisap dadah ke, tak jadi tempat vista drift ke... so, condition nye takdela semewah mana. bagi budak kecik yang aku budget2 baru 3-4 tahun, baik dia duduk umah layan tv ke, tak pun layan bunga api ngan member2 seangkatan dgn dia. tapi dia tak heran sume tu n ikut ayah dia ke surau. tersentuh aku.huu~~

dengan berbaju melayu lengkap warna hijau pucuk pisang, ditambah pulak dengan lilitan serban warna merah putih kat kepala, aku rasa aku kecik sangat bile pandang budak kecik tu. selesa betul dia tido kat sudut belakang surau tu.

yup, budak tu tak semayang. dari aku masuk surau tu sampai aabis aku buat 8 rakaat ( tapi orang lain buat 20 ar.. haha), abis witir, budak tu still tido kat belakang surau tu. lepas je bagi salam setiap abis 2 rakaat, mata aku terus pandang budak tu. macam aku tak kasi je sesapa kejut budak tu.nsb baik tade kamera time tu. comel gile dia tido.. mesti penat puasa masa siangnye. sekali lagi aku kagum.

dan bile melihatkan ayahnye yang datang solat sunat kat sebelah budak tu, aku tak hairanla kenapa budak sekeciltu boleh menguatkan kudratnye tuk datang ke surau. walaupun just tuk tido.dengan berjubah dan berserban, secocok la ayah dan anaknye. sejuk perut mak dia ngandungkan dia. :)

aku? hehe.. ntahlah.. still lagi hayut...

harap2 budak comel tu takdela hanyut macam aku...
sebab orang kite ni senang sangat berubah. nak2 lagi zaman sekarang ni. aku bercakap ni bukan la sebab aku ni baik sangat. aku pun tunggang terbalik gak. just nak bercakap as in orang melayu yang kenal naluri orang melayu ni. aku boleh cakap, besar sangat bezanya bebudak skang ngan zaman aku jadi bebudak dulu. aku bukan la murid mitahli kat sekolah dulu.. ponteng sekolah? dah biasa, ragging2? haha.. hobi tu. shopping di ampaian asrama? best2.. lawatan sambil belajar ke aspuri? aktiviti wajib kelab kebajikan asrama lelaki tu. merokok je aku tak terjebak, tapi bersubahat, jadi tokan, cover line, sume aku buat. aku bukan budak yang baik. tapi ntah, aku rasa sedih tgk bebudak skang. once again aku nak mention, aku bercakap ni bukan nak cakap aku baik ke apa ke. just aku tersentuh, tapi kali ni bukan tersentuh lembut macam aku nengok budak kecik tu. sentuhan kali ni lain skit.

bukan budak2 U or kolej yang aku risau kan. diorang dah besar panjang, dah lebih 18 tahun. apa2 jadi, diorang yang tanggung. ni yang budak sekolah ni. yang still weekdays dia bagun pagi sarung uniform sekolah n petang baru balik. yang kalau nak kuar dating pun kena minta duit parents.. golongan ni yang payah ni. mungkin akan ada antara korang perasan nada2 poyo yang kuar dari post ni. . terserah.. aku memang poyo.. haha..

masyarakat kite manja. malaysian umumnye and melayu khasnye. sampaikan keselamatan diri kite pun berbuih orang nak nasihatkan. dekat2 raya ni, isu paling hot sekali for sure, road safety. macam2 dah goverment kite buat kempen itu ini nak suruh orang bawak kete bebaik.bile goverment turunkan speed limit dari 90 to 80 kmj bagi sume federal highway, sume orang bising. kenapa nak kene bising? diorang bukan sesaja nak kurangkan halaju tu. ingat best ke. nampak sangat orang kite ni manja.. patut kerajaan tak payah pun buat mcm tu. tapi nengokkan bnyk sgt kes, terpaksa. sepatutnye keselamatan kite sendiri, kite sendiri la yang kene jaga kan.. ermm

aku pun drive gak balik raya nnti.cuak gak sebenarnye. aku mengharapkan doa korang sume agar aku selamat sampai alor gajah tercinta nnti ye. aminn...

tapi satu yang bagusnye pasal orang kite ni, sensitip. sangat2 sensitip.

baru2 ni Institut Kajian Strategik dan Kepimpinan Asia (ASLI) kuar kan statement ni , "Dengan perlaksanaan Dasar Ekonomi Baru, orang Melayu menguasai 45% ekonomi negara"

apa yang tak kena ngan statement tu? bile tengok betul2 takde pun salah ejaan ke apa ke.. ermm... bukan bagus ke? tapi sedar tak yang statement tu boleh mengucar kacirkan keharmonian masyarakat majmuk negara kita..(ni sure gadis gelak ngan kebahasa malayuan aku :P) sampai najib pun dah buka mulut, means ni bukan bende kecik lagi la kan. kenapa ek? ni aku bagitau kenapa.statement ni boleh membuatkan orang bukan bumiputera menidakkan hak keistimewaan orang melayu kite. semua orang tau, kalau sebut pasal ekonomi n meniaga, siapa yang otai bab ni? cina kan, den mcm mana peratusan org melayu sampai 45%. padahal angka sebenarnye just 18%. for sure diorang akan mushkill.. paham ak? haha.. dah2.. memalut plak nnti. sendiri paham la.. harap2 orang kite sedar. ni belum sebut citer si nyanyuk lee kuan yew tu plak.. lagi la mengarutnye.. haih.. donia.. donia..

just a junk , scarline's fotopages

under construction

2006-10-02T13:01:00.000+08:00

something terrible happened. tah apa wengnye, template lama aku corrupt.. arghhh~~ so, ni adalah template backup. nnti akan diupdate balik apa2 yang hilang.

apa2pun, tunggu je la untuk blog ni dikemaskini balik.. adoilaa...

weh2.. be free to visit my new fotopages
just a simple project to fill my free times :P

nikmat sekeping murtabak

2006-09-28T11:46:00.000+08:00

first of all aku nak mengucapkan selamat berpuasa pada semua.. orang kata tak berkat puasa kalau kite ada buat salah kat orang tapi tak minta maaf. so, aku nak amik kesempatan ni tuk minta maaf kat sape2 yang aku ada buat salah, termakan, terminum, terpakai minta dihalalkan ye. minta2 la puasa kite taun ni sama2 diberkati. taun depan tak tau la kite dapat puasa ke tak kan. minta2 dipanjangkan la umur kite ni.

2 minggu lebih aku tak update. takdela dikire lama sangat kan. tapi macam2 yang terjadi kat aku dalam tempoh masa 2 minggu ni.

kalau korang baca post aku seblum ni, aku ada cakap yang tetibe je aku sesak nafas tu kan?

rupenye that is an early sindrom. sindrom apa? sindrom penyakit yang aku hidapi 2 minggu lepas. sakit apa? jeng jeng jeng.. demam denggi :P

bnyk yang aku belajar dr sakit ni.

kepada yang tak tau sindrom2 awal sakit ni, aku bgtau la sikit2. kot2 korang terkena le nnti kan, bolehla gi jumpe doktor awal2..
badan akan lemah sangat, hilang selera makan dan badan2 korang akan lenguh2 n sakit. suhu badan korang juga akan naik. boleh mencecah 40 degree.. mcm yang aku kene. n when become worst, pendarahan gusi akan berlaku. akan terdapat tanda2 ruam kat badan korang.. so, kalau korang ada terkena tanda2 ni, sile la jumpe doktor cepat2 ye.

isnin siang aku terasa dada aku senak sangat. susah nak bernafas. at the night plak aku terasa badan aku lemah gle. den aku tau, yang aku nak demam. selasa dah start teruk dah. aku still lagi ngan tabiat lama aku. tunggu dan lihat. sebab selama ni, aku kalau demam memang aku tak gi klinik langsung. just take some panadols, and between 1 or 2 days, everything back to normal.

tapi kali ni aku da start was2 da. ari selasa mlm tak elok lg. still delay lagi. malam tu la aku rasa klimaks dia. memang aku da tak larat nak buat apa2 da. makan minum aku memang aku da tak hirau da. just terbaring je sepanjang hari. untill wednesday evening, baru la aku tergerak hati nak ke klinik. memandangkan da nak masuk 3 hari n takde tanda surut pun demam aku ni. at this moment, i just have my hosmate je. ngadu to someone but nothing happen. let it go la.. bebudak umah aku la yang belikan nasi, antar klinik. tapi biasa la kan, nama pun lelaki. takde la diorang tergedik2 nak jaga makan minum aku. tapi aku tau diorang risau.. muahaha. mekasih jugak la kat bebudak opis aku yg datang melawat aku kat umah. dapat korang ngular kejap ek.

it become worst when my lecture from utp will give a first visit at my office on d thursday morning.ikutkan hati, memang aku da tak larat sesangat nak pergi office. nak je aku call Dr Nasiman tu n cancel je visit tu. but den, aku pikir2 balik, jgn sebab aku, Dr Nasiman kena datang balik ke kl ni. umah dia dahla kat perak. jauh tu. so aku gagahkan jugak la pergi office. memang aku high betul la time meeting aku ngan Dr Nasiman n cik Ainul pagi tu. Alhamdulillah, everythings going so smooth.tgh hari tu jugak aku shoot balik ke melaka. tak larat sgt da.

walking from pasar seni's putra station to Pudu is the 'tiredest'(<-- jgn tegur ek..) walked ever. dgn panas teriknye. sesak ngan orangnye. nsb baik la aku tak pitam kat tgh2 jalan tu. n managed to reached melaka at 6.30 petang. kat sini sekali lagi aku terharu dengan pengorbanan insan bernama 'sahabat'. mekasih la tuk atoy n amar. even diorang ada test on 8.30, sempat lg atoy amik aku kat bus stand tu. dengan penat training ragbi dia, dia gagahkan jugak naik moto amik aku kat bus stand.. hoho..tq2.. lepas diorang punye test je, aku sekali lagi dah menyusahkan budak duaorang tu tuk hantar aku balik umah. thanks again. tapi untung gak diorang. sampai je umah aku, abis semangkuk ayam goreng diorang belasah. n this time, aku nak nangis tgk how ibu n ayah aku risaukan pasal. ibu n ayah mana yang tak sayangkan anak kan.. :) (now u see the manja side of me).bnyk betul ibu aku masak mlm tu, semata2 sbb dengar dah 3 hari aku tak selera makan nasi..but sadly, still selera mkn aku takde lagi, tapi aku tetap kenyang nengokkan mamat 2 orang tu melantak.. haha.. kire upah diorang hantar aku ar mlm tu. the next morning (ishh cam diari dah ni, kalau korang menyampah nak baca, takyah la baca yek.. haha ) the first thing yang ayah aku buat is hantar aku ke hospital. hospital kerajaan je. lawak tak kalau aku cakap, inilah kali pertama aku pergi hospital, sbb aku yang sakit. selama ni tak penah lg. hantar n lawat orang selalu ar. kire ni pengalaman baru tuk aku ni. hehe.. 3 hours of blood checking proses, first time kene cucuk kat tngn ni, first time di amik darah. n first time aku tgk darah aku sendiri dengan kuantiti yang bnyk. haha.. but one thing yg aku tau ari tu, darah aku kaler merah..haha.. takde ar, ari tu aku tau yang aku takdela gayat darah sangat. n the result is platelet darah aku menghampiri 155 000. aku sendiri tak tau camne diorang kiretu. just buat2 tau je la yek.

"platelet darah awak ni rendah ni, tapi still dlm paras selamat la"

fuh...

"kire saya ni demam apa doktor"

"lor, kamu tak tau lagi ke? kamu ni suspect denggi tau tak?"

macam yang aku dah agak. tu yang tak terkejut sgt. saje tanya dok tor tu..

"esok awak bawak surat ni, datang balik sini. buat blood test skali lg. tgk jatuh ke naik platelet darah awak ni"

apa tah baik aku kali ni, aku ikut la cakap doktor tu. sabtu pagi aku datang balik. same process as on the friday. tp kali ni lama skit.

"khairul izwan?!!"

nama aku kene panggil masa aku tgh layan katun superman. aku pun pergi masuk dlm bilik kecemasan.

"baring kat katil tu?" tapi nurse tu tak tunjuk katil mana...

masa ni, darah aku dah berderau dah ni. apa la nak dibuat kat aku ni. amother first time experience, baring atas katil hospital :P.

"katil mana?" ada 4 katil kot kat bilik tu.

"baring je kat katil mana yang awak suke"

list of first time experience continue. tgn aku sekali lagi dicucuk n tiub dimasukkan kat dlm tgn aku. org2 yg tak amik bio mcm aku ni consider proses tu ialah proses memasukkan air.lepas 2 jam terbaring atas katil tu, nurse td kejutkan aku.

"kite gi melaka ye lepas ni"

aku tau, ajakan yang berbunyi mcm tu hanya lah sesuai tuk diucapkan oleh pakwe2 kat melaka ni. means diorang ajak awek diorang pergi mahkota parade. tgk wayang ke main boling ke. tapi aku tau, nurse ni bukan nak ngajak aku pergi mahkota. apatah lagi nengok wayang. tapi jelas sekali yg nurse tu maksudkan Hospital Besar Melaka.

aku just mampu ngangguk je.

waaa.. best2 naik ambulan. hehe.. tapi takde nenoneno yg selalu tu.

sampai Hospital Besar je, paham2 la kan, masuk wad la jawabnye. rupe2nye kandungan platelet darah aku drop dr 155000 ke 108ooo dlm masa satu hari. tu yg dioktor kat Melaka tu bgtau aku.

sabtu pagi tu jugak aku masuk wad. aku merasa hidup di hospital. hidup sebagai pesakit di hospital. tak sempat nak ngurat nurse2 kat sana, ahad tu aku di bagi choice nak tinggal lg ke, atau nak balik. sbb doktor kata, platelet darah aku increasing dengan jayanya. so aku memilih rumah instead nurse2 comel kat hospital tu.

kepada org2 yg terasa kecik hati yang aku tak bgtau diorang aku masud wad, sorry. even abg n adik aku sendiri aku tak inform yg aku duduk wad. taknak la risaukan org. n to sesapa yang wish me n be with me along the process, thanks. apriciate it really much.

petang tu jugak, atas rasa tanggung jawab sebagai kawan, aku pergi jugak bukit serindit. stadium bukit serindit. atoy n cheng ada final rugby petang tu.2-2 orang kalah..haha2.. padan muke..

mcm tu la ujung minggu aku dihabiskan. sibuk mcm org2 lain. tapi takdela sibuk jalan2, hangout2 ngan member smpi pepagi bute. just sibuk mengenal betapa bermaknanye hidup ni (biasala tu, pemikiran org sakit.. insaf la sekejap)

selasa aku baru smpi KL.

abis cerite.. :)

dah panjang kan post ni? tapi nak sambung jugak.

puasa kali ni lain bg aku. lain sebb suasana hidup aku pun lain. berpuasa sbgi seorang yg bekerja. kuar pagi balik petang. kalau kat U tu, leh la melantak tido kan. kat opis ni nak tido celah mana. one more thing, aku tak tau kenapa. aku rasa lapang sgt puasa kali ni.lapang dengan makna tenang. takde masalah ke aku? huhu bnyk masalah aku. takde apa2 even yang sakitkan hati aku? huhu bnyk sekali. n its the worst ever. tapi ntah. mungkin aku dah malas nak layan sume2 tu. atau.. sebab aku lagi bnyk pikir 'apa nak buke petang ni?' hehe. dan aku berharap n berdoa la yang minta dikuatkan hati ni menempuh hidup ni. dah takde tempat nak ngadu dah. kat DIA je la.

bukan niat nak menagih simpati. jauh sekali minta dikesiankan. tapi aku terharu dengan apa yang terjadi pada sahur 2 hari lepas. sedar2 je dah pukul 5. umah gelap. beudak ni tak bgn lagi. patutnye 4.30 td diorang dah gerak pergi kedai kat depan flat ni. aku pagi tu memang tak cadang nak pergi. sbb tu awal2 lg aku dah beli murtabak. nak dibuat sahur. tapi bebudak ni tak prepare apa2 pun. timbul rasa was2. nak kejut ke taknak. time ni sure da tak sempat nak gi kedai. kat umah ni mana ada bende nak kunyah. yg ada just sekeping murtabak ni.tak kejutkang, tak bersahur plak bebudak ni.

buat teh o panas se jag, milo panas. aku kejut bebudak ni. dengan murtabak sekeping ni la kitorang berlima bersahur. nsb baik GM tupai kasi kurma. tulah juadah sahur kitorang. tapi yang peliknye. masing2 sendawa bgi nak rak. aku sendiri rasa kenyang gle. boleh layan gelak2 lagi pagi tu. moral of the story : bangun awal.. haha.. mungkin ni la namanya nikmat bersahur.

mulai rasa bosan untuk terus membaca? haha padan muke korang. tapi takpe, aku pun dah malas nak taip lg. again, sempena ramadhan ni, aku minta maaf kalau ada terbuat salah kat sesapa ye.

n thanks 4 adding colour to my life....apriciate it really much :)

another me

Toys R' Us

2006-09-11T15:24:00.000+08:00

i'm in office rite now.
bored..

what should i do?apa yang aku nak buat bagi menghilangkan kebosanan aku ni? kalau aku kat umah, aku dah lama tido dah. semalam aku tido lambat. ke aku tak tido semalam? aku pun da tak ingat. jalan2 sampai ke jengka. penat? tak pun... should be end as one happy trip. but den, i stupid as usual, spoilt everything.stupid me change happy 'atmosphere' into a thunder storm with a stupid style.what a stupid me.

haih...

pagi tadi aku sibuk. sibuk 'mensibuk'kan diri aku. cube untuk senyum. cube untuk gelak ngan dak2 opis ni.cube tuk kekang fikiran aku untuk tidak keluar melayang dari 'kotak' yg ada cop UEM ni. cube untuk hidup sebagai manusia normal. susah betul nak hidup sebagai manusia normal hari ni... finally, aku dapat gak keje. translatekan satu kertas kerje from english to BM. one of the biggest job. susah woo..rasa macam budak form 1 je. ngan terms2 yang pelik2. aku rasa dah jadi lawak dah BM aku. bukan nak cakap aku ni pandai sangat BI sampai tak tau dah Bahasa ibunda kite. just dat, "I feel stupid when speak Malay " is malay stupid? nope. am i to 'mulia. to speak malay? also nope. just dat,Malay standard is too high for me... aku paham perasaan Sharifah Aleya.. :P dan aku pun dah start mengarut....

after took 3 hours to translate all the paper works( what a slow me...) here i am, back to the start.
bored...

got little conversation with cik azman. bout my 'bored' things. tak banyak pun yang berubah. same je. hajat untuk aku di transfer ke UEM Builders mungkin aku terpaksa lupekan. apatah lagi untuk aku tukar company. kenapa nak tukar company? hanya mereke dan keluarga mereka je yang tau..

sebenarnye aku tak tau nak tulis apa..radio kat belakang aku ni tgh kuar lagu samson-bukan diriku. lagu tema tuk aku hari ni. jiwang? hehe.. salah ke? tak kan..? hanyalah luahan seorang insan kerdil yang tak paham erti 'kehidupan'. yang seringkali tersungkur dalam mencari arah hidup ini.. perghhh.. ayat dewan bahasa ni.

Tibe2 dada aku senak. senak yang sangat2. sampai sekarang terasa lagi. susah tuk bernafas. sampai sekarang aku terurut2 lagi dada aku. haih, kenapa yek?

itu membuatkan aku terpikir, kite hidup tak lama. tak esok, luse, tah2 kejap kang. bebile saje nyawa yang kita 'pinjam' ni akan di ambik balik. dah cukup sedia ke aku ni?

kadang2 aku rasa aku ni hanyalah patung, untuk sedap didengar dan mengikut peredaran masa, aku rasa hidup aku ni hanyalah seperti sebuah action figure. action figure yang boleh dibeli kat Toys R'Us tu.yang orang boleh ambik dan mainkan. dan aku mempunyai expired date. expired date yang ditentukan oleh DIA. so sebelum sampai due date tu, aku hanyalah sebuah jasad, yang boleh dimain bile kesunyian, dan dibiarkan ketika tidak diperlukan.aku sedaya upaya mencuba tuk puaskan hati tuan yang memegang dan memainkan aku. dihargai atau tak? terserah. aku just menjalankan tugas aku. berjaya atau tak? terserah.

dan sekali lagi aku tersedar yang aku sedang mengarut... haih...

dada aku still senak lagi...

ermmm...what else,

do u aggree if i said "Finding theright person is very hard and very wrong.." ? it is best to be the right person for the one you love and start from there, u'll always end up dissapointed when u set standards and define a 'right person' for u.you can never be perfect... the person u love also can never be perfect. but both of u can be perfect through love and prayers.u should go through together to be perfect. tepuk sebelah tangan takkan bunyik kan?

Others said that love is immortal and can never be defined . when we're in love, the first thing we want is to tell the world that our love is very special and can never be taken away from us. we keep say this phrase, ' u are the most wonderful gift from God i ever received." but den, after a terrible fight or sometimes even a petty quarrel, the phrase changed, " u are the biggest mistake i ever made for my entire life!!"

Now, how do u really spell and pronounce L-O-V-E? are u sure u are really deeply into it?

Nobody can tell what love really is, until experience speaks for it self, untill experience itself whispers to our ears. at that stage, u'll know .Most of the time, these love promises like "Forever, Till death tears us apart", "lautan api pun sanggup ku renangi" and bla.. bla.. bla would end up "Never", "we should part ways, I'm no longer happy with u! my love for you is DEAD!!!"

i think i'm right, there is no such things as perfect relationship, but there's a compatible partnership that goes along with it. if u are already knew that u are to big to fit into a small expensive shirts, dont u ever give a try, u'll probably tears it and got to pay for the damages. ifu knew and felt that the relationship will not last, don't go deeper into it. for sure u'll drown.

if u call it love when u cant leave someone and see them crying as we try to let go, u are wrong, its just pity.

if u call it love when u're too attached and think that losing the one we love will somehow make us weak and unable to face the storms of life. u mis understood. its just u are totally useless

and if u call it love when u give ur whole life to someone, the wholeness of us and imagined that if he/she leave, no one would accept u and ur past, once again u are wrong. its just unsecurity.

but no matter what definition it is, the truth still remains that love isn't something u can buy nor beg. it is real and existing.

u cant touch it but u can feel it.
u cant find it but it will knock before u expect it to come.

it can make u the happiest soul n heaven, but dont forget that it also can make u the most misearable person in the whole galaxie...

do u aggree?

haih..
apa2 pun, carilah kebahagiaan masing2.. sebelum Toys R' Us 'dirobohkan'...

aku nak demam.. :(

Pride N Prejudice

2006-09-04T10:29:00.000+08:00

masa aku paste logo ni, aku still lagi terbelek2. apa sebenarnye bentuk logo ni.mana U nye mana T nye..P tu ada la bentuknye skit kat ujung2nye tu. tapi aku tak kisah sangat pasal bentuknye. yang pentingnye tu tulisan dibawahnye tu.UTP alumni.sepaham aku, sesapa yang dah grad je yang layak menggelarkan diri diorang sebagai alumni. in my case, utp alumni.

first time aku nampak logo ni is from Gadis's sweatheart.

"u, meh sini kejap, ada something yang i nak u tengok"

"apa dia"

"taraaa.."

Dengan machonye dia menunjukkan sticker alumni dia yang terlekat elok kat belakang kete dia.

"mahal ni tau tak... budak tak abis sekolah tak dapat ni tau.."

senyumm je diaa...

bgs lah.. dan aku tau ada 699 lagi orang yang bertuah kat sana yang ada sticker ni. to Gadis, put, aish, judy, janggut, alia, ck, nuaq, zack, bobo, jibo, mayon, asma dan 686 graduan yang lain...CONGRATULATIONS...sorry for not being there on d big day.

semestinye korang berbangga kan. segak dengan robe masing2, megah dengan scroll di tangan. Alhamdulillah, abis jugak korang nye seksa kat utp ni. tahniah2.. aku? haih...

isnin 28/8/06 haritu first thing yang aku buat masa aku masuk office is cari suratkhabar. puas aku belek utusan dan star. 2-3 kali aku belek suratkhabar tu. tetap takde.takde langsung cerite pasal graduation kat utp. aku pelik, seingat aku graduation2 yang lepas mesti ada cerite pasal utp, tak banyak pun sikit mesti ada. tapi kali ni aku pelik, langsung takde. kalau tak silap just NST je ada terselit sikit. apa yang penuh kat suratkhabar hari tu citer pasal mawi-ina n siti kawin. aku pelik betul la.bukan aku tak berpuas hati sebab aku student utp n utp punye cerite tak masuk suat khabar. tapi korang pikir la. apa salahnye letak sikit citer pasa lstudent2 yang sukses2. yang dapat gold medal ke. baru la orang lain yang baca tu naik semangat dia. baru la bebudak kat luar sana yang baru2 nak masuk U tu terbakar skit semangat diorang nak blaja tul2.(jgn jadi mcm aku ni... ). ini tak.. asik2 citer orang putus tunang tu jugak yang bermuke2 dalam surat khabar tu. haih.. payah media kite skang ni.

tapi selepas selidik punye selidik, mungkin ada sebab lain kenapa banyak akhbar2 utama negara tak menyiarkan citer pasal utp. boo layan trus majlis konvokesyen utp. korang rasa kenapa?

ini hasil buah fikiran aku la kan. aku tak paksa korang semua percaya. apatah lagi setuju ngan pendapat aku. korang tau tak sape chancelor utp? korang kenal tak Tun Dr Mahathir? yup. Tun adalah chancelor UTP

aku tak tipu kan?

dan aku juga mengandaikan korang semua tahu apa yang terjadi kat dunia politik malaysia skarang ni. kelantangan Tun bersuara meresahkan semua 'orang-orang atas' kerajaan. kalau dapat korang selak2 tahun2 lepas punye paper, 2 hari lepas utp konvo, for sure nye setiap paper akan kaver citer pasal ucapan Tun, istiadat2 convo,., tapi kenapa takde tahun ni?

tuan2 dan puan2 tak perlu merasa pelik ye...

dari apa yang aku dengar,(ni aku tak sure, sebb aku takde kat tempat kejadian) ucapan Tun taun ni ada berbaur perli memerli... lebih kurang kalau pemimpin tu gagal memimpin, elok digugurkan..ermmm setuju ak? apa kata korang plak?

mungkin ada yang mengatakan aku ni terlalu sensitip, tapi pendapat2 aku ni disokong oleh bermacam2 fakta. kite amik contoh sabtu lepas.tak ramai la yang tahu pasal lawatan Tun kite ni ke NS. dan dia plak di bagi plak dewan tuk berucap (tak macam yang jadi kat perlis)... korang pun tau mcm mana kelantangan Tun kan? ironicnye, pada masa yang sama, NS ngan Telekom Melaka ada game kat Paroi malam tu (Semi Final Piala Malaysia). dan ironic kuasa 2 nye lagi, tetibe je menteri besar NS anounce yang tiket masuk stadium malam tu free. mungkin ada orang akan cakap, Tun punye lawatan siang, game malam. tapi bagi yang dah beser masuk stadium, for sure siang2 lagi diorang dah gerak ke stadium, nak2 lagi semi final, free lagi tu. adakah itu satu cara untuk distract orang tuk tak pergi perjumpaan ngan Tun? aku suspicious. korang?

Another Me

Oscar nominees...

2006-08-24T09:44:00.000+08:00

tak pernah aku terpikir tuk berlakon
tak pernah jugak aku terpikir ada orang berminat nak tgk aku berlakon
tak pernah langsung terlintas tuk menjadi orang tumpuan...

"u r khairul izwan rite?"

"yup"

"i'm from Uni of Conventry London. i'm here to take some videos about u."

" about me? y? er... videos me of doing what?"

kepala aku dah pikir macam2 da time ni.. apa plak yang dia nak shoot pasal aku ni.. apa lah yang aku dah buat ni.. adoilaa..

"hehe..."

boleh plak dia sengih2..

"just actng like usuall..like what ur daily works. doing like no one else here.."

"videos me of doing works?"

"yes..."

"arrr... okay.."

so, cameraman ni pun setup2kan la kamera dia apa sume.. aku ni plak dah tercongok2 depan pc ni. apa la aku nak buat ni..

"ok, everythings is ready, so.. can i say action?"

eh..eh.. memain plak dia..

"ermm ok.."

"just do what ever u want to do... if u need to go to see ur bosses, taking files or where ever u want to go, just tell me.. i'll follow u."

uiks..kalau aku nak terkucil ke? cirit birit ke.. adehh... takleh la aku nak ngulat ni..adakah ini konspirasi UEM tuk mengelakkan aku mengulat lg..
so, aku pun memulakan la lakonan as a 'trainee terlampau'..hahaha..

bukak file ni, dia shoot, bukak file tu, dia shoot gak
aku pusing ke kanan, dia pusing kekanan, aku pusing kekiri pun dia ikut jugak.
hidung aku gatal.terasa nak korek idung?lupekanla.. jadi bahan gelak plak kat london ni nnti. satu hari suntuk la aku diikut oleh kamera tu.sehari suntuk jugak la aku menahan diri aku ni untuk terkucil. sekali dia nak ikut gak.. naye je.

sampai ke time lunch pun dia ikutnye..naik segan aku. masuk lif je, orang sume da cam pelik da..

"anak putera raja mana plak ni?"
"ni anak sulung datuk k ke?"
"sejak bile ada citer 'The Truman Show' version melayu ni?"

so, sume orang taknak jalan ngan aku. sampai ke kedai makan lagi la segan, dari aku cedok lauk sampai le aku suap nasi kedalam mulut aku.sume di record nye.dah rasa mcm jadi bhn experiment plak aku.lps 3 minit aku nguyah baru dia off camera tu. time ni la baru aku dapat bergerak ngan bebas..

"what exactly this video for?"

"documentary. for my Uni."

"ooo... ok" aku malas nak melayan lg. shoot la selagi ko boleh..

aku ingat sehari je.. rupenye2 uem dah kasi kontrak 2 hari..maknanye 2 hari gak la aku jadi 'actor'

tapi, hari ke-2 ni betul2 buat mood aku hilang.

"khairul for today, can u move on to as many place as u can? u spend too much time at ur place"

dah keje aku kat sini, sini jelah aku duduk. nak kemana lagi.

" u can make a fake discussion. its ok, as long u are not sitting here anymore."

okla, aku ikutkan jugak cakap dia ni..

sampai 2-3 kali jugak la aku jumpe nazrun, cik azman, cik wan, buat borak2...

at the same time, SV aku, cik azman ada kasi aku keje. keje yg urgent. tapi yang cameraman ni plak nak aku gerak2. camne aku nak buat keje. bile aku dudk je kat tempat aku, dia bising. tapi keje aku tak siap lg.makin lama aku dah makin melauat. even aku da tebalkan muke aku ni, jumpe sume orang2 dlm office ni tuk diajak 'main-main' berlakon, tu pun dia bnyk komen lagi... thanks to cik wan, cik taha, nazrun n kak lela, sebab susah payah berlakon ngan aku.

"khairul, u need to speak louder"
"khairul, can u please ask question as many as u can?"
khairul that..khairul this...

arghhh.. aku da sampai tahap maksimum kesabaran aku ni.aku da malas nak layan apa dia cakap.aku buat bodo je..

at last abis jugak 4 tape dia roll.

lepas abis je aku 'berlakon' tu, aku ingat nak berehat, tapi ada plak keje2 yang kene buat. urgent plak tu..haihh..

penat jugak la nak berlakon ni.berlakon yang tade skrip. berlakon yang aku sendiri kene buat jalan ceritenye.

tapi sebenarnye kite semua adalah pelakon.pelakon yang tak berlakon depan kamera. pelakon yang berdepan dengan dunia dia sendiri.terserah kite, script yang macammana kite nak persembahkan dan pertontonkan kepada dunia luar. hebat....

ramai yang berjaya dengan lakonan diorang.
berjaya memajukan diri sendiri.
berjaya membuat orang ketawa.
berjaya membuat orang menangis.
berjaya buat orang merana.
ramai jugak yang 'keras' lagi lakonannye...sehingga dapat dikesan penonton. :)

korang? pelakon yang macammana? korang director korang jugak pelakonnye. terpulang...

enough of merepek.. what else..

my life? ermm.. aku still lagi bernafas.. tak bnyk kejadian yang boleh menngkucarkacirkan adrenalin aku skang ni.. apa pun yang jadi, aku terime dengan hati yang terbuke. as i said before, im just a little naive boy that still learning how to walk. kadang2 dipimpin.. dan kadang2 dilepaskan berkeseorangan.

aku hanya mampu berharap yang ada orang akan mengutip aku dan berjalan bersama aku. dan aku jugak hanya boleh berharap yang dia akan menemani aku. aku tak mampu nak menghalang kalau dia nak pergi meninggalkan aku. yang pastinye, hidup ni takkan ada sekelumit simpati pun tuk aku, jika dengan hanya merangkak aku dapat terus bergerak, merangkak la aku.

toodless

theme song.. :p (thanks to my mp3 supplier)
6th sense - Hari ini Dan Semalam

Bila yang Pandai semakin Pandai...

2006-08-14T09:55:00.000+08:00

ermmmm...

apa yang aku nak tulis sebenarnye ni.

tak bnyk yang jadi kat aku sepanjang minggu lepas... (tak bnyk?!! yela.. tak bnyk yang aku boleh aku ceritakan kat sini..)

tapi banyak yang berlaku kat dunia luar skarang ni...

yang bodoh mengaku pandai,
yang jahat mengaku baik,
yang kaya semakin kaya,
yang miskin semakin papa,
yang zalim semakin mem'bangsat'kan diri,
yang menipu terus dengan 'kata2' manisnye'
yang tua nak kawin mude,(muahahha...)
yang dah lama kawin nak bercerai berai,

haii..dunia2..

apa yang terjadi sebenarnye..

Dunia Antarabangsa

kalau korang tak tau apa yang terjadi kat lebanon tu..baik korang panjat atap umah korang, den terjun. pastikan kepala korang sampai dulu ke tanah.

satu dunia tau apa yang terjadi.

semua orang tau si israel bangsat terus terusan membedil Lubnan.
semua orang tau Hizbullah tak mampu nak melawan.
1000 orang awam lubnan dah terbunuh... dan mereka semua adalah islam..
semua orang gak tau yang patutnye PBB dah bertindak.
tapi PBB plak buat tak tau...

OIC? ohh... i see...
satu pertubuhan ISLAM terbesar di dunia. apa yang mereka buat untuk membantu Lubnan? bersidang dan mengutuk..
itu aje? haihh...

aku sebenarnye tak paham betul dengan dunia skarang ni. kenapa kita boleh bersahaja je bile negara islam kene bom mcm tu?hari ni kuar lagi resolusi damai oleh PBB..kenapa baru kuar ari ni? apa kandungan resolusi kali ni aku tak tau la. kalau dah perancis ngan amerika yang buat, takyah tengok isi resolusi tu pun dah tau dah. Gencatan senjata kepada Hizbullah? abistu Yahudi?

alasan yang diorang bagi, Hizbullah pelampau.

diorang ni tak belajar matematik ke? 1000 orang awam dengan 120 askar yahudi(yang dah terbunuh).. mana satu yang pelampau sebenarnye? haih.. tak tau lah aku.. doa jela..

korang tgk dan nilai sendiri la..tak larat nak cakap dah..bersyukur la korang yang duduk di negara aman ni..

Laman Rumah Kita Sendiri

Siti ngan Datuk K? tak menarik minat aku...
Datuk K ngan Tengku Zawiyah bagi2 harta? aku malas nak amik port...
Datuk affendi pun cerai bini lama, cari bini baru, bagi bini lama harta... ni lagi satu kes..

meluat..

apa yang menarik minat aku.. dan sepatutnye menarik minat korang gak...

citer Khairy Jamaludin ngan ECM Libra Avaneu nye tu..haha.. kesian..tak pasal2 rugi lebih rm 200 000.. bagi aku KJ ni mangsa keadaan..(tapi memang salah pun..muahaha)

dia nak tunjuk belang pada masa yang tak kene. tercalit plak kat pak mertuanye.. sian.. tertekan pak cik ni.. dahla Tun pun duk hentam dia.. aih.. takpa2.. paklah kita macam2 helah dia.. pandai2 ar dia survive..

ni lah yang jadi bila orang pandai jumpa orang pandai...kita tunggu dan lihat la apa nak jadi lepas ni.. Tun nak jadi PM balik? Pak Lah tetap gak dengan ke'cool'an nye.. sama2 kite nantikan.

tu belum crite pasal mogok, tunjuk perasaan sana sini..

BLOODY SUNDAY??!! tak ramai yang tau pasal ni kan tunjuk perasaan aman yang tak aman ..

jgn ingat bende ni terjadi kat venezuela ke.. chile ke.. bende ni jadi kat depan KLCC ye tuan2 dan puan2..

mcm mana bende ni bleh jadi? panjang ceritenye..

Bnyk lagi yang terjadi sebenarnye... kite je yang buat tak nmpk atau buat2 tak nampak..

Lina Joy? haih.. moge2 cepat la dia sedar.. sian mak ayah dia tu...

pasal apa aku post bende2 ni? aku sendiri tak tau.
mungkin jiwa aku pun sekusut jiwa dunia skarang ni...
mcm mana boleh kusut? Ntah..
mcm mana nak setelkan kekusutan ni? Ntah..

so?

NTAHLAH...

toddless...

sebalik sirapsuam..

2006-08-03T15:34:00.000+08:00

ni kali ke3 aku tukar address blog aku. bg yang tak tau, takpela. dulu penah scarlife8784.blogspot ..pastu scarlife2444.blogspot lepastu haagendasz.blogspot plak. and this time sirapsuam.blogspot.

kekalke sirapsuam ni?

insyaAllah.

kenapa sirapsuam ek?

bagi aku la, sirap is something unique?(kalu korang rasa tak, nasib korang la) korang pergi mana je, mesti ada air sirap. takkisahla kampung ceruk mana pun, gi kedai kopi dia, minta air sirap.aku jamin ada.bak kata pert, sirap ni adalah air rasmi rakyat Malaysia. aku setuju.

tapi aku nak tanya korang, penah minum air sirap suam?

aku rasa peratusan yg akan pergi kedai makan and order sirap suam kurang dr 1% tul tak? aku pernah. smpi makcik tu pun tak tau nak letak berapa harga sirap aku tu. betapa uniknye sirap suam tu.

so, apa kene mengenanye?

kite hidup ni kene la flexible, kat mana aje kite tercampak, kite kene la survive. kemana aje kite pergi, minta2 sume orang suke la kat kite kan?mcm sirapla, kemana aje kite pergi, mesti akan jumpe peminat air sirap ni.smpi budak kecik pun tau apa tu air sirap.cube tanya capucino kat budak kecik, silap2 dia ingtkan air kapur..(lawak tak?tak er?)

tapi bukan senang nak buat semua orang puas n happy ngan apa yg kite buat. ada spesis orang yg tak peduli apa org lain cakap. org mcm ni sgt yakin dengan diri dia.(bolehgak dikategorikan org kepala batu). ada orang yang sangat berkire dengan apa yang orang lain cakap. diorang sanggup buat apa saje asalkan org lain puas hati. sampaikan sanggup susahkan diri sendiri, sakitkan diri sendiri,rosakkan diri sendiri.bagustak orang kategori ni?

korang pikir la sendiri.

boleh kata, aku sendiri tergolong dalam kategori kedua tu.aku tak kisah mcm mana condition diri aku, asalkan orang lain puas. sekali lagi aku konfius, HIPOKRITkah aku?

aku rasa tak.

aku ada sebab kenapa aku sanggup buat mcmtu.

bagi aku, itu dinamakan PENGORBANAN. korang boleh definisikan ikut suke korang. tapi ini definasi aku.pengorbanan untuk orang tersayang...bg aku sangat2 priceless.

aku pernah cakap ni kat someone...

"bukan nilai hadiah yg aku nak banggakan, bukan effort surprise yang aku nak hebah2kan tapi satu je..satu je yg sangat2 aku harapkan.. senyuman dia..."

u know who u are aite?

aku rindukan masa gembira aku yang dulu.

tapi dunia kita berbeza skang.dan semalam aku terjumpe sesuatu.sesuatu yang membolehkan aku belajar satu lagi pengajaran yang insyaAllah boleh mendewasakan aku.

but den, life is like playing a chess,<--ni nak pinjam cakap2 cik wan ni.. in this game, kite terpaksa bergerak kehadapan. kite terpaksa merisiko kan diri dengan menjudikan nasib askar kite. hanya untuk menjaga the precious king. tapi sedar tak kite yang once kite gerakkan askar kite, semakin tinggi jugak risiko opponennt nak attack king kite?

tapi kite terpaksa terus bergerak.bergerak tanpa sekali pun dapat berundur selepas gerakan yg kite buat. silap langkah, CHECK MATE....

mcm tu jugak life kite. berpikir dan bergerak. sentiasa pandang ke hadapan n sentiasa alert. jaga king kite baik...

toddless

lagu tema hari ni..mari2 download..

Daniel Powter-Bad Day

" how would u know the inside me?" Part-2

2006-07-31T11:50:00.000+08:00

termenung aku ngadap muvi yg tgh ditayangkan didepan mata aku ni.melayan muvi yg aku sendiri tak ingt tajuk dia apa.kadang2 aku gelak gile2.. kadang2 aku menguap kuat gle tp takpe, sebab bukan aku dalam wayang pun. takkan ada orng nak jerit kat ak "woi, tak penah masuk wayang ke?" takkan ada jugak popcorn2 sesat akan hinggap kat kepala aku ni.sebab aku kat bilik.layan muvi sorang2

aku seorang movie freak.

tapi lately aku bnyk ketinggalan muvi2 kat wayang tu.

kenapa tak pergi aje IOI yg sepuluh minit dr umah aku ni or lepas keje, trus je gi shot Mid Valley yg 5 minit je dr opis aku n layan je wayang, instead duduk melepak sorang2 dlm bilik ni aku yg kecil lagi sederhana ni? takde kawan kah aku?

bukan takde kawan yang boleh di ajak tuk melepak, tapi minggu ni aku terasa nak berkeseorangan. bnyk yang aku nak setelkan konon2nye.nak basuh baju, tak berbasuh, nak vacum bilik? tak tervacum gak, nak lap kipas? berabuk jugak kipas tu...so. apa yg aku buat? lepas je ari jumaat tu, (lepas majlis 2nd quarter UEM gathering kat HQ opis aku) aku off kan hp n aku sign off YM aku. sampai ahad, baru aku on kan balik. sedeynye, takde misscalled or mesage.. betapa tiada kepentingannye aku ni..huhu.saje aku buat mcm tu. aku totally nak sorang2. Melayan depress.. sekurang2nye bile duk sorang2 ni, aku harap dapat kurangkan sikit depress aku ni. walaupun aku sorang2.

Depress..dengan kata lain, demoralize @ dishearten @ discourage atau seangkatan dengannya, amat sinonim dengan aku. dah boleh jadi middle name aku dah..

boleh kata every month, aku akan menghadapi bende ni. dah jadi macam monthly event plak aku rasa.kalau perempuan akan depress bile time haid diorang sebulan sekali, camtu gak aku. mesti akan ngadap bende ni. cume untung pempuan ni, ada panadol menstrual, aku?

Tapi aku bukan depress saja-saja. Banyak perkara yang aku hadapi dan telan, sampaikan muka nih, dah jadi tak ceria.

aku ingat Cheng penah cakap...

"Kau tau tak apa masalah ko ni PanjanG, ko ni berat mulut nak mampus.."

Sombong ke aku ni?

bukan sorang dua yg cakap camtu.ramai dah. and i admit it. penah sekali dalam bas, bayangkan dari perak smpi ke melaka, sebelah aku ni adala awek punye la cun. kalau dapat kat korang mesti punye korang dah ayat dah.

"Nak balik melaka ke dik?"

"Melaka duduk kat mana?"

"Jam sekarang pukul berapa ek?"

"awak ni comel la, leh jadi girlfren saya?" hahaha...

macam2 soklan yg bersusun dlm kepala otak aku time tu. at last, smpi ke melaka. aku buat bodoh je. mesti dia ingt aku ni bisu..

haih..

penyakit aku ni jadi kritikal bersebab.. bukan aku saja2 nak buat. Aku paham sangat apa yg diorang2 maksudkan..

mungkin 'Kekurangan' pada diri aku ni punca segalanya...

Trauma.

Trauma ke aku?

trauma ialah sesuatu perubahan perasaan, fizikal dan mental selepas individu itu mengalami sesuatu kejadian yang besar dalam hidupnya.most probabily, its a bad things. ini adalah definisi trauma pada diri aku. pemikiran, tindakan dan tindak balas individu itu pada persekitaran akan berubah.mungkin lama kelamaan trauma ini akan hilang, tapi bg sesetengah kes, kesan trauma ini kekal sepanjang hayat.

apa kaitan aku dan trauma?

aku pernah mengalami trauma. banyak keadaan yang menyebabkan aku menjadi trauma dalam hidup aku.tapi Alhamdulillah selepas 22 tahun aku hidup, tiada trauma yang series. tiada trauma yang melibatkan org lain. just me and myself.

percintaan? alahaii.. bab ni takyah cakap la. I'm such a loser in this part. 99% pro on a broken heart chapter

organisasi kekeluargaan? Alhamdulillah.. aku bahagia berada didalam keluarga En Jamaludin & Pn Katijah. even penah ditambat kat pokok tepi jalan dan di kasinye kerengga lg, but i'm proud of it. it teach me to be a good son. (masalahnye, anak yg baik ke aku ni?)

Kewangan & Harta benda? penah ditipu kawan sendiri. back stab by my own friends. smpi berhutang beratus2 ringgit. smpi skarang tak setel2..

Academic? huih..terumbang ambing. tak penahnye nak merasa slip exam aku tu GPA nye start ngan 3, apatah lg 4.

kadang2 bile aku pikirkan balik, bagus sebenarnye if u hv been through all this things.one thing dia akan buat ko semakin matang. tapi kalau tak kene timenye. down terus ar. macam yang terjadi kat aku.

tak boleh la kau nak cerite sebijik2 kat korang, but den, itu macam membuka pekung sendiri. yang pastinye, masalah2 yang aku hadapi ni, mampu membuatkan dahi aku ni berkerut 24jam.

Bukan aku tak penah nak built up my self confident dan try lawan rasa gundah gulana ni. bnyk kali.. bnyk kali aku try. tapi bnyk mana aku try, bnyk jugak problem yang datang.

puas aku nak positif kan diri aku.
aku tau sore tak best, tapi aku tetap berkaraoke.
aku tak pandai menulis, tapi ngade2 jugak tulis blog.
aku tak pandai bercerite, tapi becokkan jugak mulut aku tuk berceloteh.
aku tak pandai bergaya, tapi diam2 aku tiru gaya2 orang yang macho.
semuanya untuk naikkan balik self motivation and hilangkan rasa trauma aku td.

ntahlah...

berjaya ke tidak, korang yang tentukan. kalau nak tanya kau, aku akan jawab tak tau. apa yang korang nampak pada diri aku ni, tak sama dengan my inner side. HIPOKRIT ke aku ni?

ntahlah...

one more thing, apa korang rasa and buat kalau korang di reject? even worst, dipaksa tuk pergi? (start dah jiwang2 ni)...

haih...

at the end.. bile aku sendiri dah tak larat nak pikir, the same terms akan kuar dr mulut aku, "Lantaklah..." satu penyelesaian yang tak sihat.

tapi, at the inside, who knows...kan?

sorry la kalau korang bosan dengar aku mengarut. amik la lagu ni,aku kasi adiah sebab baca blog aku. download sendiri er..

Kenangan Terindah

aku nak tukar nama blog. next update maybe aku akan tukar nama blog aku. for futher info nengok frindster aku erk..

My Friendster

how would u know the inside me?

2006-07-11T09:54:00.000+08:00

this morning i was 'hit'. hit by 'something'. 2 possibilities. either it will change my whole life forever, neither nor. haih..
if u feel like being f**k up, i feel 10 times than dat. not means to blame anyone. but den this is what really happend. this is life. i know that after this, maybe, 99% maybe u'll not have a trust on me. its up to. if u can see what have i've been through all this time, u would understand. i have no body to 'merenyeh2' with. i have no place to split out the bleed inside me. this is just my place. what i write maybe not as same i've said to u. but i thing u know me. u know me very well.how would i react when i in a moody mode, angry mode and what so ever.
lately, u've changed my thought to u. (remember our long conversation on my b'day night? i bet u will) i'm happy wif dat.very2 happy with what have u done, with what have u said, and the way u act to me. its a dame sweetest thing to me. but den, as u said. ur trust to me is lesser and lesser. i cant do anything wif dat. sorry sorry and sorry..

tupai-tupai

2006-07-10T17:03:00.000+08:00

duduk je aku kat krusi opis ni, aku dihidangkan dgn berite plg bes oleh has.. "awak, hari ni cik azman ngan cik razani takde.."

dgn itu waktu lunch kami pun terpaksa la di awalkan.. 12.30 lagi dah cabut kuar..huhu. really2 thanks to Has. dia la yang sungguh2 paksa our lazy ass to stand up and went for lunch. katanye nak makan luar.. so dat, Has bawak kitorang makan kat Tupai- Tupai.. quite a nice place for having a relaxing 'jungle' environment lunch.(takde camera ar nak amik pic tmpt tu) and the best part is, Has banje aku.. muahaha.. belated besday boy beb...thanks Has. len kali banje la lg yek..

need to pack and going back home.. a day in office with no work.. yuuhuu~~

toddless

first day as a "22'ian"..

2006-07-09T23:07:00.000+08:00

080706
nice no aite?hei everybody, im 22 rite now. syukur to almighty, Allah swt coz still let this pity little servant breath, walk, talk..thanks to both my parents. without them, maybe i'm not this healthier, 22 years im under their guidens. love u both very much.

to all my friends, either u remember or not this 'important' date (for me la kan..) thanks to allof u. acompany me to get through this things thal called 'life'. some of u maybe lead me to glorious. and thanks those who stab my back, hurts me, pissing on me, cheating on me, used me.. without all of u, maybe i'm still one naive little kampung boy. i've learnt alot through what have all of u contribues. thanks again.

to those yang wish, tq so much. i really apriciate it.doesnt matter if its vocally wish, sms, friendster, tag..all of u had bright my day up. thank u so much

God, please lead me to the path that makes me close to U. i need Ur help.

i'm just a petite boy that want to find a 'man' in me...

tik..tok..

2006-07-03T16:56:00.000+08:00

while wasting my time in my office, i've found this..

When a girl misses u, she's
afraid to
see how your
new girl looks, she's dreading the fact that ur not
hers any more

When u break a girls heart, she still feels it when
bumping heads 3 years later

When a girl just stares deep into your eyes, she's
HOPING that your hers and only hers ( it shows
how much she cares: eyes never lie)

When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of
questions,
she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine, " after a few
seconds,
she is not at all fine.

When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering why you are so wonderful.

When a girl lays her head on your chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl calls you everyday,
she is seeking for your attention.

When a girl wants to see you everyday,
she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says, "I'll love you forever, "
she means it.

When a girl says that she can't live without you,
she has made up her mind that you are her future.

When a girl says, "I miss you, "
no one in this world can miss you more than that

haha.. believe it? nahh... now, compare to this..

When a guy calls u
he wants to be with you

When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you...

When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong

When a guy says, "I'm fine, " after a few minutes,
he means it

When a guy stares at you,
he wishes you would care about him and wonders
if you do?

When you're laying your head on a guy's chest
he has the world

When a guy calls you everyday
he is in love

When a (good) guy say he loves you
he means it

When a guy says he can't live without you
he's with you till your done

When a guy says, "I miss you, "
he misses you more than you could have ever
missed him or anything else

so? haha.. blaa blaa blaa...

weekend ari tu aku balik kampung..haih.. what a reliefed seeing all the 'Jamaludin' members are sihat2 belaka.. best sgt balik umah. welcomed home with ibu's sambal udang, ayam kicap and asam pedas.. fuhh..tak sempat masuk bilik. first thing first, cari pinggan..haha.. seriesly la.. which ever i go, my ibu's cook is yet still the best.
hope to continue my happiness in KL.. but den.. haihh.. nasib2..

che razani and mr azman is not around. it means, 'ngulat' time..hoho.. congrats to has which have officially completed her internship program, upon second visits. luckily to her to get cik razani and mr sanif.. aku?waa.. tak tau la. pasrah jelaa..

haih.. apa yek aku nak buat minggu ni.. aku mesti ubah hidup aku supaya menjadi lebih ceria..muahahaha.. adoilaa.. :P

toddless

weekend......

2006-06-30T15:57:00.000+08:00

yeahh.. hujung minggu dtg lgii~~~ best2.. but den, belum kul 5.30 pun aku dah shoot balik umah dah. tak larat sgt.. berat gle kepala aku kat opis td.. trus minta MC half day.

walking inside my house, climb up the stairs and turn up my door knob.lonely.. turn on my pc, clicking winamp icon..shuffling for the first song...

Langit Tak mendengar
Jadi hidup telah memilih
Menurunkan aku ke bumi
Hari berganti dan berganti
Aku diam tak memahami

Mengapa hidup begitu sepi
Apakah hidup seperti ini
Mengapa kuslalu sendiri
Apakah hidupku tak berarti

Coba bertanya pada manusia
Tak ada jawabnya
Aku bertanya pada langit tua
Langit tak mendengar

langit tak mendengar- PeterPan
.........
(winamp pun pndi memerli ekk~~)

tonight i'll be heading to melaka. balik kampung..( should i say kampung or rumah? :P) my sis will register for UIA next monday(i'm so proud of her.. congrats sis...) so i 'll acompany my parents for the registration.

k la.. got to laid my head down for a rest..

tooddless

aku demam

2006-06-29T10:03:00.000+08:00

ari ni aku lmbt lg smpi opis. but den, bukan aku sengaja. i'm totally not feeling well. luckily my brother woke me up. if not, memang hanyut ar smpi ke tengah hari. woke up with an heavy head, 'sroott srott' nose, arghh. thinking dat nothing to do at home, i force my self to drag my self into bathroom and get prepared to go to office.
guess what? i've received my first pay ceque.. (my second cheque in my whole life...) woohoo.. hehe.. but den tak tau when can i cash it to my account. so relief to get it at this respective time. i'm totally broken right now. dah dapat cek ni, lege la sikit. leh la belanja2 skit..

nothing much to do right now. cik azman pun tade kasi kerje2 lain lg. so dat, surfing time...hehe. when i'm refreshing my friendster list this morning, i saw someone viewing my page. haih.. i broke my promise to that person... not actually promise between us, tapi janji diri aku kat dia... tak tau la kalau dia tau ke tak wujudnye perjanjian ni.... but den,maybe things get clear to her. so dat maybe i myself over perasan.. =) i rather willing to 'wait' for a long time than being hurt time by time.haih.. if only God would let that ' someone' knows that what i feel 10 years ago, still remain deep inside me..even though my inside things telah di'butakan' just like dat.....bende dah lepas.. haihh...

laalaalaaa~~ layan jiwaaa... muahahahaha

adoilaa.. my headache really killing me. haih.. mcm nak minta off half day je rasanye..

heyy.. read thiss...(copied from Bernama.com --> http://www.bernama.com/bernama/v3/news_sports.php?id=186389&vo=87 )

Sports

Selangor Whip Melaka Telekom

KUALA LUMPUR, March 18 (Bernama) -- Hosts Selangor chalked up their third win in 12 matches and in style when they whipped Melaka Telekom 5-2 in a Super League match at the Bukit Jalil Mational Stadium here Friday night.

Selangor were on the warpath from the start and almost scored four seconds into the game but Melaka Telekom goalkeeper Khairul Izwan Jamaludin stood in the way.

Khairul Izwan turned out to be a very tough nut to crack, forcing the Red Giants to wait until the 38th minute for the first goal. K. Sanbagamaran slotted home the ball which had fallen invitingly at his feet in front of Melaka's goalmouth.

ehem2..hahaha...

by the way.. according to the plan to change my add, i've found one name.. www.extricateteritory.blogspot.com aku tak tukar lg.. tpi bile aku nak tukar aku bgtau..
maybe next monday. just take note je la.. kalau takleh login pki add lama, korang just try add ni . k..

toodless...

sroottt..srootttt....haihh..

Priceless...

2006-06-28T09:05:00.000+08:00

top-up maxis = RM10
duit minyak kete = RM20
what i've been thru last night = PRICELESS....

how would u think this world can keep spinning around? after last night, i knew the answer.

dunno la, is it i'm too stupid that can be lied just like dat or both of them were too 'genius' to arrange the 'conspiration' . lie? both of them? conspiration? what the hell i'm talking about?what exactly that happening last night? hahahaha..

dulunye aku ni bukan seorang yang percaya sgt ngan cakap2 orang tua.. as an example, “One drop of indigo is all it takes to spoil an entire urn of milk.” how would one drop of indigo would turn milk into other colour.. but den, after what i've been thru last night changed everything. "Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya ke tanah jugak akhirnye" the thing is, the way that squirrell will drop down to the ground. is it by it self crawling down the tree and lay down to the ground safely, being shoted by someone and drooped down in a pity & innocent way or while 'proudly' hopping around and then slip away and fall down shamely. if u want to be squirrel, please dont be the last type of squirrel.

for sure all of u will mumbling.. "apa la si panjang ni ngarut niii.. tupaii laa apa laa.." hahaha.. apa yg korang kene buat, amik iktibar atas apa yg aku dah citer td. think about it.

at this time, kepala aku sakit gle.. berdenyut2 sesangat. really feel like want to go home and 'bumm..' into my bed. semalam tak cukup tido. kul 4 lebih baru tido.. haih..

bnyk lagi yang aku nak tulis actually. but den my headache at this moment really2 killing me. later k. :(
oh ya, about the changed of this blog add, any idea..? really2 stuck to get an idea..arghh

i'm hurts both inside and outside....

toddless

srottt..srott...

2006-06-27T15:26:00.000+08:00

arghh... dari pg td idung aku ni berair jek.. for sure has yg kat sebelah aku ni tak selesa ngan ke'srottt'an aku ni.. sorry la ye..i can say that this is an early sindrom for me to get fever.. arghh.. woke up this morning with dilema.. should i or should not going to office. maybe asap2 dr lori n bas yg buat aku selsema ni.. haihh.. what a fragile me..

while spending my 'golden' time in a office wif surfing and reading others blog ( :P) i found something, which i thought its nice to read.. soo for not to be sel fish and stinggy, i'll paste for u too.. i really believe that it is part of god's greater plan.

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day,
while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help
coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog.

There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy,
screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad
from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.
The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse
surroundings An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced
himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.
"I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life."
"No, I can't accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmer
replied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to
the door of the family hovel.

"Is that your son?" the nobleman asked.
"Yes," the farmer replied proudly.
"I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my
own son will enjoy. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt
grow to be a man we both will be proud of." And that he did.

Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time,
graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on
to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming,
the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was
stricken with pneumonia.
What saved his life this time? Penicillin.
The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill. His son's name?
Sir Winston Churchill.

nice, huh?

Someone once said: What goes around comes around.

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
Sing like nobody's listening.

May there always be work for your hands to do;
May your purse always hold a coin or two;
May the sun always shine on your windowpane;
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;
May the hand of a friend always be near you;
May Allah fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

still srottt..srottt..really2 dont feel comfirtable right now.

toddless

ALERT!

2006-06-27T11:47:00.000+08:00

hey, hey, hey, the new page..just want to make it nice and simple.although some of it i 'cedok' it from others, but den it really represent me.hehe.. one more things, i'm in a process to get a new name for this blog, any idea?
if u have any, feel free to let me know k.
toodless..

Monday Morning!!!!

2006-06-26T09:12:00.000+08:00

ramai orang berpendapat hari isnin adalah hari 'malas' semalaysia.. betul ke? hoho tapi aku rasa ari senin la paling best (tak selalu laa.. ) tapi pagi ni betul2nye hari 'malas' tuk aku..bgn awal dah. mandi, semayang siap2 nak kuar opis awal dah. sampai opis pun dah abis =awal dah. tapi tade keje.. waaa.. cik azman ngan cik razani pun tade. soo.. tade la keje.. ( padahal bolehje buatweekly report.. :P) but den.. huhu.. tak tau.. tak semangat ar pg ni..

weekend aku baru2 ni.. full. 2 hari aku kuar.. tak balik umah.. bukan merempat ar.. tapi accompany acap to company his sister. this is the first time aku kuar town after 3 weeks duk kl ni. in a first place, time acap ajak ikut dia tu aku mcm malas nak pergi. wif economoney probs, and some other stuff, but den kalau aku duk umah ni kang. bukan ada nak buat apa2 pun. nnti duk sorang2 nnti mule la pikir yg bukan2 kang.. so, gagahkan jugak ikut dia. aku terpikir gak, kalau tade acap ajak tu.. tak bergerak la aku dari umah tu. become anak dara lagi la weekend ari tu. yelaa.. sape lagi yg nak ajak aku kuar.. sape lagi yg boleh bawak aku jenjalan. acap tu je la.. nak kuar sorang2 kang sesat plak nnti.

have a heavy window shopping, quite make me sick. macam2 nak dibeli. suar la, perfume la, kasut la.. haihh.. penin2.. but for sure aku akan beli hp ar. kalau boleh aku nak beli time 8th july nnti..*wink2*(hint ni.. hint) saje nak happykan diri aku time tu. sbb setakat ni takde plan apa2 lg tuk ari tu. acap pun maybe takde..so aku sorang2 la time tu.. takpe2.. dah biasa sgt dah.. haha. deep inside me, for sure laa (can say sangat sangat sangat sangat laa) berharap yg akan ada org ingt ari tu. buat surprise..nak dapat hadiah..nak jugak merasa kan.. (ngade gle.. muahaha) but den dah bnyk kali berharap, tak penah nye nak jadii.. so dat, malas dah nak pikir2..haha

sitting and spending this weekend wif bangchik and acap, bnyk bende yang aku belajar. they consult me wif alot of things. they such a good consulter (btul ke eja nye ni?) for me. for me both of them much2 better than me. in anything i can say..thanks u so much. aku tau yg diorang takdenye nak bukak blog aku ni, but den, kalau korang baca blog aku ni, aku nak ucapkan mekasih bebanyak.. glad that i've known u guys.. (jiwang tak sudah2... haihh)

hari ni genap seminggu. i hope the other party can see what i'm trying to do. not to torture u. not to make u sad, make u mad or anything. but den u have ur own world right now. the world which u yourself choose to live in. for sure u akan happy wif ur choises aite? at my side, nothing u have to worry about. i' m happy wif ur choises. i'm 110% bowed at ur decision. never argued or tak puas hati. the hurts, the sadnes, just let me myself cure it on my own way. i know its hard, but i'm very2 sure dat u'll get used to it. i know, the non-existance of me will not really affacted ur 'complete' life. just take a good care of urself and ur relationship k.. take care.. :)

if i knew...

2006-06-26T08:31:00.000+08:00

If I knew it would be the last time,
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word
so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say " I love you ",
Instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more
so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.
There will always be another day
to say " I love you " and certainly there’s
another chance to say our "Anything I can do? "
But just in case I might be wrong
and today is all I get,
I like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

huhu.. jiwang session before jumping into working hours..

2006-06-23T12:05:00.000+08:00

olaa..
here comes another friday..douhhh.. tak sabar nak tunggu weekend ni. takyah lagi kene bgn awal..huh..
skang ni aku sensorang je kat opis. has, shah, nazrun.. sume pegi umah kak..apa ek nama akak tu..hehe.. aku tak penah jumpe akak ni lagi.cuti bersalin. so i assume sampai petang la aku sangap sensorang kat opis ni. tapi td cik azman jumpe aku.. "ari ni u lunch ngan i ar.. saya banje.." wuuhuu.. mkn free..ahahah.. butden for sure rasa akward nye kalau aku makan berdua.. dahla jarang borak.. minta2 cik shahrul ikut la sekali ek.takdela aku mati kutu nnti.
A lot of things to tell actually. but den..takpela.. malas plak nak ingt crite2 2-3 hari lepas ni. letih.. fizikal n mental torture. exhausted.. really exhausted.. but, from now on, i prefer to be silent, pasif.. silent is a great killer for me..it cah heal u and in a same time, it hurts u alot. but the inside me have imune to all thats hurt. so just let me keep the 'hurts' alone. aku mengaku yang all this time aku tipu diri aku.. aku cakap aku happy, tapi actually aku sikit pun tak happy. aku cakap aku tak boring, padahal gile babi nye bored. aku cakap aku tak ingat, padahal every seconds it'll across my mind. aku ,aku dengan gah ngaku yang aku ni kuat, but den i'm such a fragile little child.
arghh.. i hate my self...
haih~~ but den this is life..
make a choice and dont look back..

2006-06-21T00:05:00.000+08:00

to Gadis and her bf, CONGRATZ..
moge berbahagie.. :)

2006-06-19T09:01:00.000+08:00

hari ni aku bgn awal. eventhough aku takleh tido semalam. aku ingt lagi yg aku still golek2 masa aku tgk hp aku and its show 6'oclock.

wearing black long sleeves POLO shirts wif black POLO pants and black shine BATA( malaysia boleh!!) shoes. standing up infront of the mirror... smart? elegant? maskulin( :P )? its up to u to judge me. people judge peole depends on what their seeing on that person. wif a big smile, i sweep my acces card. entering the office wif 'langkah kanan'. first person yg aku jumpe is makcik cleaner( makcik cleaner ni best. sbb setiap kali meeting, she will 'exclusively' make milo for me. aku sorang je dapat milo, even ada sepuloh VIP dlm bilik tu. org lain sume minum air nescafe.. muahaha) smiling to her and keep walking to my cubicle.turn on my Pc and straight to the pantry to make hot tea. (but wait,..hey, Has tak datang lg. at last, aku dapat juga sampai seblum dia..hehe) the smile in my face still remain nice and 'sweet'. am i happy? its up to all of u to judge me. if u see poeple smilling, for sure we'll assume that he/she in a happy mode. but den, do we all know what is under their face?

at this moment, my inner side is BROKE. totally broken..broke into not two pieces, three pieces, but thousand an uncountable pieces. thats what i meant by TOTALLY...haihh..

i'm sorry if korang tak suke apa yg aku tulis ni. but in this present time, my blog is my best friends. kesian korang2 yg asyik dengar citer sedih aku (u know who u are..).. its time aku rasa yang aku stop beban kan korang ngan citer2 tu. its time for me to have it on my own shoulder and list it by myself. totally by myself. thanks for being a good listener. this blog is just the only way that i can iterprate what i want to say.

ntahlah... i really2 want to get through my prob happily and freely. but den honestly i'm not that strong. and at this stage, i feel so lonely. i have no one... no body... what do i have is just myself. but hey, this is life right? if u are weak, stupid and 'lurus bendul', u'll be under the strong, brave, and 'licik'(feeling better using this words either than 'clever') type of people's feet. and honestly,i myslef is under their feet. untill when people want to take me as a granted? i dont know. hidup aku perlu diteruskan. susah senang, just let my self complain to myself. really2 thanks to people yg betul2 take care of me. but sorry to say, there are no body like that in this world to me( this conversation was not including my family...this is my social life.. peoples around me..) honestly and trusticity( ada ke term ni?) is no longer have their 'special privillage pass' to get through my heart. no body can be trust and believe. even believing myself is a hard things to do. where is my motivational strength? i dont know...where is my strong trusticity into my self? once again i dont know...sampai bile aku nak jadi mcm ni? kepala aku ni hnya mampu menggeleng tidak ketahuan. just let the faith to decide. just Allah knows how hurt my self right know. just me and HIM knows what actually happened..oh God, please.. guide me..

i'm trying harder to make people smile.. to make people happy wif their lifes.. but den why people still make me as a rubbish? ignoring my existing? forgetting all my effort? aku bukannya nak disanjung.. di puji.. di julang... tapi apa yang aku nak is simple.. respect me as a human being yg ada hati dan perasaan.. thats all.. aku pun nak hidup as a normal person..loving an being love.. but den,on top off all this, i took it in a positive side..

GOD WANT TO TEST ME...

2006-06-16T17:09:00.000+08:00

tik...tok..tik...tokk... alahaii..lmbtnye nak tunggu kul 5.30 ni. after dat 2 days off..huh.. what a relief. nowadays, i know how to appriciate weekends.and furthernore, i've learnt how hard to find 'halal' money.so, kids out there..kesiankanla parents korang yg penat keje tu.. :P

at present time, aku tgh survey2 hp apa yg aku nak beli. anyone hav a good suggestion? penin pale aku pikirkan pasal hp ni.nokia? SE? LG (chocolat smart gle wehh..)adehhh..sian kat Gadis, lama dah aku pki hp dia ni. segan plak rasanye...

ermm..lapar pulak rasanye..k la.. want to go to pasar malam down there..

toddless..

2006-06-14T15:18:00.000+08:00

olaaa..
see.. like i said yesterday, ari ni aku lambat lg.. almost 30 minutes late..muahaha.. 2 conservative times..haihh..kamon panjang, dicipline2..
but den, aku rasa tak berbaloi aku stay up mlm td. actually ngantuk gak sebenarnye, starting from outrages korean dramatic wins again togo, i put my self more comfortable in hope seing france (as u know, zidane, henry, vieira, thuram, and bla..bla.. bla.. should be interesting aite?) but den.. ceh.. nyesal. very disapointed game. neither france nor swiss, both played bored game. where is henry's 'sharp' ending? where are all the 'genius' zidane's skills? series nyesal aku tengok game tu. but the highlight for the morning is brazil vs swiss.
for sure the whole world is waiting for this mutual team (as said by many people) in action. i myself chosing this 'complete set' team will bring back the trophy once again. dari la keeper sampai ke striker, sume boleh cakap 5 stars player. but den, once again, what a dissapointing from the giants. haih.. agaknye semua skill2 star ni takleh kuar time first game kot. even this 'factory of skills' pun hampeh mlm td.

tu belum citer pasal 'keberatan' ronaldo ngan adriano. dua2 lari bawak perut je. no dangerous shoting from adriano at all. ronaldo adala sekali, tu pun 'tembak bulan' nye shooting. haih.. luckily, this macho boy, kaka' with brilliant left foot shoot a beautiful 30m range gol. haih..
takpe2..aku yakin brazil akan improve lepas ni.. cehh mcm shebby plak aku ni..
actually aku ada agenda lain sebenarnye. tu yg smpi 4-5 pagi aku stay up tu. waiting for a call actually. but den takde pun.haihh
soo pengajaran tuk ari ni, jgn tido lmbt..
toddless

2006-06-13T09:24:00.000+08:00

olaaa...

pagi ni aku lewat masuk keje..25 minit gak la lewat. tapi masuk opis buat muke toye jek..budget2 tade org pasan ar. ahaks...

waoke up at 7.59am with my dizzling and swirling head..dragging my self to the bath room and have a 5 minutes of 'mandi kerbau' and den capai je mana2 baju yg tergantung..comot aku ari ni..ngan baju yg tak beriron..in a first place nak aje aku call has and den cakap aku tak larat gi ofis ari ni..but den, remembering yg ari ni all 'civils engineer'(engineer ar sgt... baru suruh buat beam 150 X 300 pun da salah.guling2 gak la cik wan gelakkan..ceit..) kat opis ni have to continues their mega projects, so dat aku gagahkan gak la gi keje.. mega tak mega sngt la keje nye.. buat model je pun..but den i'm really into it..yela.. kata kempunan nak jadi arkitek dulu. org tgn keras ar katakan.. tak pndi melukis.. soo lepas geram ar kire nye ni..at least i've learnt something.. dan ada gak la isi weekly report aku nnti..

berbalik citer aku bgn lmbt pg td.. here are the cronologies that most probably drift me into this situation..

1. whole weekends night spending time depan pc nengok series.. sampai pukul 5-6 pg br tido

2. Ahad malam isnin, tak dapat tido, layan gak la mexico vs iran..sampai 5 pagi.

3. lepas layan bola sampai 5 pagi, baru je terlelap dlm 5 minit, acap plak call. sutuh bukak sliding door..terus takleh tido. pak usin pun ada..dah terjaga, teus mandi gi keje ar..

4. mlm semalam budget nak tido awal, acap plak ajak pi beli wardrobe..eemmm stenderd ar kalau kuar ngan acap.. kul 12 br balik. ingtakan leh tido lepas balik dr IOI, tak dapat gak..terus install 2 biji almari n 2 biji rak.

5. setelah berkerah keringat sepanjang malam, lepas mandi sumpah niat aku nak tido, once again.. acap menjadi benteng penghalang mimpi2 indah ku malam itu, boleh dia ajak borak plak..dia boleh la stay up, dia cuti..ceh..soo kul 5 gak la aku tido semalam..

6. jiwa kacau..muahaha..

as a result, bgn kul 8, kepala weng...adoilaa..

and most probabbly this condition will still remain..coz.. for sure mlm ni kene stay up. brazil beb..nyesal tak tgk..ngantuk pun ngantuk ar..janjidapat tgk..muahaha,,

k la, err.. engineer kene kembali bertugas...haha ( budgtett~~..)

2006-06-08T22:52:00.000+08:00

at this moment..i really2 miss someone.. but den..haih..

2006-06-06T15:10:00.000+08:00

olaa..

guest what, i'm updating from the office of Succes Converge Sdn Bhd..muahahaha.. yeahh.. i'm no longer a student..(but just for 8 months ar :( ...) its have been 2 days since i'm starting my internship here..i'm lucky to have a good working environment, funny officemate, 'cute' big boss and not forgotten my hardworking and most dedication 'seniorita'.. Nurhaslina... she helps me a lot.. keep my working hour full wif something to read..if shes not around, tercangak2 jugak la aku kat opis ni..actually boleh je nak update blog ni on my first day.. but den.. quite segan actually..haha

yesterday have been very exhausted.. maybe exhausted on counting time.. wif no works to do. intens to help but seriesly..tak tau nak tolong apa. mayb its to early for me. has said.. project at putrajaya is growing faster. and in 2 months time, the project will be started. maybe at dat time, there are no more leisure time.very2 loking forward to that. i hopes there are many site visit.. 'jalan2 time'..and this morning i've heard some good news.. although maybe i'm not involve , but going to China is the most adorable thing to hear..hopefully dapat la ikut..haha..

hidup UEM!! (<--sorak dgn harapan jadila projek ke china tu..muahaha)

ermm..what else to say..laterla.. takde idea skang ni.. :P

2006-05-29T20:26:00.000+08:00

exam maddnes is over..as like last 3 sem...sad ending..huaaaaa.. but maybe this sem is the worst..haih.. malang sangat nasib aku ni..mengikut logik akal manusia normal.. siapa la yang tak happy ek lepas exam.. tapi tahlah..lege tu lege la sebab dah tak payah nak kusut2 pikir pasal study..tp.. ahh abaikan..

skang ni tengah lapor tahap ni..acap da balik, jat, arep, maro..sume da balik..tinggal la tercangak2 aku sensorang dalam bilik ni.. nak mkn v4 malas nak turun..mlm2 ni tak reti nak mkn cafe..huahua..takpela.. tahan je le..lapor sgt kang tidoo je..abis crite.

aku sensitip ke aku bodoh? tu bende yang aku tgh pikirkan skang ni..kenapa aku jadi sesensitip camni? macam mana aku boleh jadi sebodoh ni.. aku pun tak tahu. aku pun tak paham apa yang jadi kat aku skang ni. org cakap..apa yang kite teringinkan sesangat,tak semestinye kite dapat kan? tapi dalam kes aku..frasa 'tak semestinye' tu boleh la kot di tukar dengan 'mustahil'.. aku tak pernah nak dapat apa yg aku teringinkan sgt2..mungkis korang akan cakap.. aku tamak, tak reti bersyukur.. tapi korang tak ada kat tempat aku.korang tak rasa apa yang aku rasa..sakit, pedih, senyum, ketawa.. aku sorang je yg rasa..kenapa yek? tak berbaloi ke sayang aku ni.. tak bernilai ke kasih aku ni..haiih...aku sensitip ke bodoh sebenarnye ni...haihhh~~

tuk cari kekuatan menghadapi kenyataan ni bukan senang ek..kite yg tak rasa mungkin senang cakap.."sabar jelah ye..kalau ada nnti adalah.." tapi penah ke kite rasa apa yg org tu rasa? bukan aku nak cakap nasihat org tu salah..bgs sebenarnye.. but the main point is ...

Truth is hurt...

aku pun manusia biasa gak..manusia normal yang nak rasa disayangi..nak rasa disayangi..nak rasa dimiliki dan memiliki.. ermmm

mungkin tuhan belum nak ketemukan aku ngan 'bahagia' yang aku selalu doa2kan tu.. kalau itulah kehendak-Nya aku terime.. just aku berharap.. yang Dia bimbing aku dan bekalkan aku dengan sedikit kekuatan..

haihhh~~

2006-05-28T03:17:00.000+08:00

dem it... what is happening to me... day by day..i've lost the 'original' me...arghhhh.... oh God.. pleasee.. give me some guidance.. please...

2006-05-26T20:28:00.000+08:00

its been a week...4 downs..1 more to go..the hardest among the others..'Design of steel , timber & prestressed'.haihhh~~.

it's so excited to end my study for this sem..and after this 8 months life without assignment, lect..bla bla bla..i'm going for internship training. hopefully it will be fun. i expected that it will be hard and bored in a first or second months because i'm the only one UTPians there.but thats life..everyone must move on and face a new life rite? i can expecting anything rite now. how's my life in KL? who will be my friends there?how about my 'petang-petang' activities? will i change? will my attitude change?will my appearance change?will it be good or become worst? no one knows...

technically at present moments, i myself in a process to change. from what to what..dont ask me. just let the time decide.. can change? or can't i? y i'm doing this? i know..nobody interested to know..but hey.. its my blog.. sukati kiteeee laa..haha.. its because the time has come. or the other way to say, my job is done and i need to move on..i hope God is with me. gave me a little strength.. gave me a little candle to guide my journey.. i'm too far from the shore i think.if dulu aku boleh buat..y cant now aite?

its raining out there..my stomach 'bergelimpangan' asking for some food. should be this evening aku kuar ipoh. planning to entertain my self.. going out alone and desire to watch "Da'Vinci Code" but den..some sort of economically probs.. and maybe because i'm so tired, terbengkalai aku atas katil. mayb next time..siann kat diri aku..tak dapat kuar tgk wayang..hehe.. next time ye panjang.. :P soo..lepak bilik je la..huhu

this past 3 days..my health condition become flip flop..emotionally fever.. my head spinning like hell..Alhamdulillah, all that doesn't effect much when i took Coastal paper this morning. y ar? maybe tak cukup tido..and some sort of bnyk 'berpikir'..

what else to say..

oh yeah.. last 22nd was my 'anniversary'.. another surprises had have been arranged.Alhamdulillah all going as a plan, eventhough it quite not exactly as my plan..but still ok. i hope Gadis having a great time. what the surprised was? for one whole day, i culik Gadis, tight up her eyes.. and bring her to a place yg dia ngidam2 sngt nak pergi..hehe 'the lost world of Tambun'.selalu sangat dia cakap nak berenang..hehe.. its a pleasure to see she smile and laugh..:) thanks so much..sorry for the clumsy arrangement for that 'happiest' day..

2006-05-19T19:36:00.000+08:00

haih... its my bad day.. i hate myself.. lebih tepat.. aku tak kenal diri aku...

2006-05-16T01:22:00.000+08:00

Just finished my supper..Tomyam Ruski..huhu..
it always be my probs.. there are many things to say when u are not in front of this pc..many things to write.. many thins to tell. But then..when I facing this black 17inch monitor, everything.. 'puff' missing just like that.
Should be this night I have start my waste water revision..but til now..the note is still nicely arrange at corner of my table. Don't know y Im to lazy to drag that note and its 2000 pages's text book in front of me and start reading it..haih..
siang td paper eng econs..ermm as usual..dah jawap baru menyesal..nape tak baca tu la..ni la..adoila..but still..Alhamdulillah..coz in a first place..i have no idea at all about dat subject..thanks to shiro yg keep saying " 3E senang la panjang.." apek yg membekalkan soklan2 past year.. 'tukang kejut' rasmi aku skang..akak erin kite yang membagunkan diri dalam keterpaksaan kul 6 pg tuk kejut aku..thanks so much..and Gadis yg sudi spent time wif me..acompanying me one whole week..seeing the kusut me..dealing wif tension me..susahkan nak layan I ni..hehe but I can say 3E is nothing to compare wif my next2 paper.. waste.. steel ..highway.. adoilaa..really hoping that no paper sangkut dis sem..i want to go for my internship wif hati yg tenang..amin..
at dis moment..dont know why..aku nak sgt bercakap..having a conversation wif somebody.. any body..dari lepas maghrib gak la aku tak bercakap.. lawak ek.. having a nap after maghrib and woke up at 11 o'clock (qodo' tido la org kata..) and there are nobody in the house..kene culik alien ke apa bebudak ni.. diorang gi ipoh kot..jimba bara seblum coming back for a 'kusut' war wif waste water..muahaha..waaa bosannye duk sorang2..
nak kacau gadis..sian plak dia..mayb at this moment, she have a group discussion wif erin n shiro..corparate Ethics I think..kalau kacau nnti.. dia emo emo..huhu.. takmau2..takut…:P
3 straight paper..this evening, next morning, and Wednesday evening..thats 3 times more kusut dan me..hehe.. takpe2.. after this U don't have to worry to deal anymore wif final exam..assignment..lect.. project blablabla what so ever.. Gadis will be graduating..huhu..congrats.. tak sabar nak tunggu Gadis keje..huhuhu(gelak seorang menteri kewangan berpengalaman..) once again.. congrats.. I know.. u kusut sgt lately..and sometimes the existing of me..in front of u.. make ur life more miserable. just to let u know.. I tak niat pun nak buat sume2 tu.. maybe my 'childish' mind irritate u..my stupid act hurts u, my stupid sengeh2 make u mad.. im so sorry..
Siang td UEM gave me a call..asking me to go here and there.. to settle this and that..huhuhuh.. excited2.. nak keje.. Gadis gelak je bile aku excited2 ni.."memula boleh la excited u.. I kasi u 3 bulan je..sure u boring.." hehe..talking about internship, I should be syukur sgt.. I don't have any probs to find a place..either for interns or houses to stay.. and more I got the company that I wanted most. Should thanks to Has.. she helps me a lot. Rasanye dia yg seludup resume aku and send it to her boss..haha..thanks Has.
The clocks show 2.09 in the morning..haih..nak tido ke study..tido ke study.. tadi dah tido..study la pulak..ermmm..but still ngantuk ni..tido la.. (inilah cara seorang yang dipanggil PEMALAS buat keputusan..hehe )

I think I have to go..dari tak tau nak buat apa..baik tido..esok bgn awal and start study..huhu( konon2 ar ni..) to Gadis and others.. gud luck for ur paper..:)
Daa~~

2006-05-14T22:34:00.000+08:00

a little jiwang mode during 'rehat2' time...esok paper first..haih...

JANGAN SAKITI KU LAGI..
MUNGKIN AKU BISA PERGI..
PERGI UNTUK SELAMANYA..
DAN MUNGKIN TAK KAN KEMBALI

Belum cukup sembuh hati ku ini..
Dari luka yang kau tikam..kejantungku..
Sudah kamu lukai nya lagi..
Sudah kamu hancurkan..
percaya ku kepadamu..
Aku mungkin takkan pernah tau..
Apa salahku kepada dirimu..
Mungkin juga kamu masih ragu..
Dan ta'pernah menganggap ini adalah serius

JANGAN SAKITI KU LAGI..
MUNGKIN AKU BISA PERGI..
PERGI UNTUK SELAMANYA..
DAN MUNGKIN TAK KAN KEMBALI

Setelah aku menjadi milik mu..
Masihkah kamu akan sakiti aku lagi
Belum cukupkah kamu menyiksa aku
Belum cukupkah kamu membuat aku jadi gila....

-ahmad dhani-

2006-05-08T22:16:00.000+08:00

Lately,

I'm not quite myself.

Maybe,

I do need some help.

Just my confusion,

Trust my delusion.

Don't you,

Regret you met me.

Go through,

These steps to get me,

Back to where we start,

Before I fall apart.

If I could black out,

It'd become so clear,

Standing face-to-face with everything I fear.

Watch so closely,

but still I don't see.

As bad as it seems,

a piece of mind I steal,

An ordinary life,

But consequences real.

I'm past the point of reality.

This isn't me,

This isn't you,

When it's just everything we do.

Till you open up your eyes,

and understand this isn't real.

This isn't me,

This isn't you,

This is everything but true,

Till we come to realize,

It's what we put each other through.

It's like a bad dream,

Coming all so true,

Leaving me with nothing else left to do.

Now so helpless,

I'm not so selfish.

Tell me,

How does it feel to have a face like that,

Do you still feel?

It's hard to believe right now,

This seems to be real.

Still phasing by this time,

So why can't I wake up.

missing the old us..

2006-05-07T10:49:00.000+08:00

Ya Allah,

Seandainya telah Kau catatkan dia milikku,

tercipta buatku,

dekatkanlah ia padaku,

titipkanlah kemesraan antara kami,

agar kebahagiaan itu abadi...

Ya Allah,

Ya Tuhanku Yang Maha Pengasih,

seiringkanlah kami melayari hidup luar ini ketepian yang sejahtera,

Ya Allah,
Seandainya telah Kau takdirkan dia bukan milikku,

bawalah ia jauh dari pandanganku,

luputkanlah dia dari ingatan ku,

dan peliharalah diriku dari kecewa

amin...

2006-05-03T23:06:00.000+08:00

It's been a while I'm not updating this blog. Busy? Not really..maybe not in a mood to be blogging. My final exam is just around the corner. Next week is my study week. And my first paper will be on 15th.. Seriously I'm not ready for dat. I'm such a lost. Lost to no where. I myself don't know why? Lately I'm like don't really know my self.why I'm doing this, why I'm doing dat, why I'm going here and there, why I'm thinking this and that.. Everything going not right. Why all of this happen? Like I mention earlier.. I DON'T KNOW…

Maybe this is what we called life. So many things to think, so many think to decide.now I realize how complicated life is. For those out there which think life is easier, my advice, think twice. It's bullshit if I said life is wonderful, more bullshit if u think life is fair. Life is not like what u think. Sometimes it treat u as 'his' best friends..give u all that u want, give u all the happiness that u dream of. Until u forget. Forget that all of that is not really for u. become worst when u forget from "whom" u get dat happiness. Don't blame anyone if one day all the happiness that u have, all your sweet2 dream suddenly gone. Just like dat. Blame ur self. Blame urself for not treat life like it should be. bla..bla..bla.. hehe..

So many things to said, so many words to type on, so many feelings to show off. But I don't know, should I nor should not do all that. There is sometimes when my brains become 'mereng' and obviously it will make look stupid, childish and nonsense. I'm afraid.. demm.. don't know what I'm afraid of…-sigh-

Are u dare to let u happiness dragging by others? Are u willing to let other happy but not u? such an honor if u can do that aite?
Do good things and good things happen, do bad things and bad things happen..its a karma(a words from "My name is Earl" series..hehe..)

Apa pun yang jadi, aku harap aku kuat. Kuat tuk hadapi segalanya.. tak ada apa yang dapat aku buat tuk mengubah sesuatu yg pastinye bukan milik aku. Aku dah serahkan segalanya. Aku harap ianya berbaloi. Tiada apa lagi yang tinggal tuk aku kongsikan dengan orang lain. Kalau ditanya, 'sanggup ke aku menghadapinya?' for sure aku akan menggelengkan kepala. Sayang ni tak dapat nak di buang dah But that's life… satu je.. aku harap aku takkan hilang apa yang aku ada sekarang ni.. "Ya Allah… tolonglah..berikan kekuatan tuk aku hadapinye…"

Thanks for those yang understand and willing to seat and hear my story... :)

2006-04-25T04:19:00.000+08:00

smile.. satisfaction.. so sweet.. tak tau camne nak diungkapkan lagi apa yg aku rasa mlm lepas dinner Ucity(Civil Eng club) tu. first and for most aku peri dan balik dinner tu dengan sangat happynye.accompany by Gadis, that night is one of the most memorable night i've ever had. so much fun, so much laugh, so much food (and dont forget, i won the BINGGO game..hehe) but the climaks of my happines is when Gadis see what I and Erin (also credit to Asma, Shiro and for most my lovely romate..huhu..acappp) had done tho gadis table.. a surprise for Gadis...

really2 thanks to erin.."wakenabeb" kite menjadi... bukan nilai hadiah yg aku nak banggakan, bukan effort surprise yang aku nak hebah2kan tapi satu je..satu je yg sangat2 aku harapkan.. senyuman dia...

2006-04-25T01:31:00.000+08:00

here are some pictures from Ucity Nostalgia Nite..hehe.. a lot more to show..tp kang kalau paste sume..tak larat plak nak upload.. :)

2006-04-24T20:01:00.000+08:00

I tried to be perfect

But nothing was worth it

I don't believe it makes me real

I'd thought it would be easy

But no one believes me

I left all the things that I said

If you believe it's in my soul

I'd say all the words that I know

Just to see if it would show

That I'm trying to let you know

That I'm better if u are my own...

This place is so empty

My thoughts are so tempting

I don't know how it got so bad

Sometimes it's so crazy that nothing could save me

But i'm glad that i have u as my own..

No smile can colour up my life

No pain can tear me up

No word can draw my hearts

No song can dance my love

I have no words to draw up ur beauty

I'd say all the words that I know

Just to see if it would show

That I'm trying to let you know

That I'm dying to have u as my own

2006-04-20T23:21:00.000+08:00

korang kenal siapa dia ni?

dan korang kenal tak mamat ni? diorang la ahmad dhani dan once.. huhu.. last monday i, gadis, acap, adik n mar went for Dewa showcase at astro..huu~~..puas hati perut ar orang kata..mana taknya.. tengok Dewa perform live.. dengan jarak yg sgt dekat.. most important..its free..huahua.. thanks to angah~ kire berbalas gak ar geram tak dapat gi konsert kat stadium merdeka..

this week become the exhausted one..starting from saturday, haziq's (Gadis youngest cousins) birthday party..best gle party tu..having a lot of lough, for sure la a lot of food..and a karaoke session until midnight..hehe..memang Gadis lepas geram ar time ni.. :P at this party, ingatkan aku kene buli ngan auntie n uncle Gadis, nasib baik.. memasing sibuk.. at last, Gadis balik yg kene buli ngan aku ..huahuahua..

on sunday, me and Gadis have some "little" shopping session..huhu.. little la sgt.. but i feel so happy, Gadis hav been a very good image advisor for me..bought some clothes for dinner @ practical.

actually, i'm just went back from borak panjang ngan Gadis..from 12 untill 5 in the morning la.. we talk almost about everything..aku senang sangat berborak dengan dia..just kesian je kat dia..ada klas kul 9..yg aku ni tade klas..huhu...

i've change alot in this 2 months..the way i talk, the way i think, and i'm glad wif my change. aku bnyk diexposekan wif 'adult' environment. the way an adult think, the way an adult facing their probs..thanks to Gadis, she tought me alot. althought sometimes my act was so childish, and thats make u feel like "bluekkk" i'm so sorry.. i need time. time to change, time to be 'someone'. i know i heart u a lot. always let u down, but just want u to know..i tak bermaksud langsung. kadang2 i tak perasan dat my react, the way i talk and what i talking about hurts u. i'm still a little boy dat need to learnt much2 more about dis world..and thanks..thank u very2 much for being here to holding my hands. :)

adik, me and gadis... :P

oh ye, aku gunting rambut lagi..laalaa~~

2006-04-15T00:56:00.000+08:00

don't know apa yg aku rasa skang ni.. berdebar...gegel.. sume ada..tomorrow i'll be going for Gadis nephew birthday party..yeahh..memang la best kan..pergi party..tp yg buat berdebar nye.. surela kene jumpe parents dia ek..hehe.. takpe2..yakin boleh~ to Gadis, jgn buli i lebey2 k..huhu

palnning to go dewa 's concert after dat, but have to cancel. :(.. tp takpe.. as a replacement, kitorang dapat invitation tuk pergi "Dari Studio Satu bersama Dewa" kat astro. jgn jeles..muahaha. tq to angah.. and the best part is Gadis as my imej advisor akan teman kan i shopping
bli baju tuk praktikal..~best2
yesterday ada la kejadian tragis berlaku.. Gadis's darling pancit~.. boleh pukul 3 pagi kitorang berdua duduk menyangkung bukak tayar kat stesen petronas~.. kelam kabut gak la sebab dahla takde jack n allan key..terpaksa la call kitorang punye 'superwoman'. credit to erin n shida.. kalu tak tido celah pam minyak ar kitorang..

its a pleasure to see u happy~ seriesly... :)

dengan adanye pic ni, aku menyerahkan takhta 'pengedit pic paling terer' kepada Gadis.. :P

2006-04-11T05:43:00.000+08:00

haih.. alot happend during this 2 days period..lot enough to hurt me..lots enough to make me smile..lots enough to make me grow up..when u love some one very much, make sure u are ready enough. ready to being hurt and ready to being in heaven..hehe.. dont take it for granted.. this is what we call life.. what makes the life is more sweet is the way u handle the sour one..
maybe i'm being to soft my my life..i admit it. i have a sindrom dat afraid on taing risk. i'm glad there are someone dat sudi accompany me to handle it. hopefully u'll stay beside me to take my hand and guide me. am i a week and 'bacul'? its up to all of u to judge me. me n my self only know how hard to drag myself in this moment.flip flop on motivation..confusing what am i needed right now..
thanks again.. thanks to 'S' bukan nama sebenar..:D yg tolong sekolah kan aku..u help me alot..seyesly..
n to "Gadis" .. u really meant sumthing for me...thank u..

still finding what this pic related wif my post...muahaha..Gadis ingt dia sorng pndi edit pic..laalaa~~:P

2006-04-08T04:22:00.000+08:00

Galacticos in memory... sorry dear friends..i'm the one that should be blame for our losses..sorry...

2006-04-05T22:27:00.000+08:00

laying back in my room wif nothing to do.. padahal a bunch of assignment, project need to be done..still assume takde pape nak buat..-sigh-.. my legs hurt again..this time is the worst ever..meleleh gak la darah kat pdg td..oh yeah..our team kalah lg..dats mean..its all over..all over for galacticos...

-haih-.. apa nak buat ni..laalaalaa~~

2006-03-29T18:57:00.000+08:00

she stole my heart

2006-03-26T23:38:00.000+08:00

yuhuuu~~~~ hahaha... at last..dapat gak upload..
sorry ar..lama btul tak bebel kat blog ni..sibukla..komitmen bnyk..haha.. tambah2 plak bile pc aku rosak..adoilaa...
what ever pun..skang ni Alhamdulillah hidup aku makin ceria dan happy.. thanks to "Gadis" ......
laalaaa~~~

apa2hal nnti aku update la..ni aku kat pc orang ni..takle lelama... cepat la elaun masuk..pc aku dah jadi tukun dah kat bawah meja tu~~

ooo ye.. one more thing...sab, aku dah dapat tempat praktikal~~~ UEM ...yeaaa hehe..

adios~

2006-03-02T12:06:00.000+08:00

senyumm...eppy..best...gelakk..seronok..gembira...girang...'menguntum'.... apa lg...
thats what i feeling in this one whole week...hehe..
really appriciate the heppist time..

2006-02-25T20:05:00.000+08:00

tgh bosan gle kat lab..err.. rambut baru ye tuan2 dan puan2...haha...

2006-02-25T19:55:00.000+08:00

yeaaa.. hehe eppy2..

2006-02-24T14:42:00.000+08:00

and again..here comes the weekend...yeaa.. no need to wakeup early in the morning.. no need to go to class..tido smpi muntahh~~ hehe..

but somehow, my weekend will not be the same as usual...hopefully la..something suddenly happend in my life and it makes me happy..yuu huuu~~

of course everybody want theirself to be apreciate kan? so do i.. appreciation is the most dificult things to get..for me la.. tak tau la org lain camne.. i'm tired to be a 'terhegeh2' person that begging for others appreciation.. enuff!! tu yg bile suddenly when i know someone had really appriciate the existing of me teruja trus tu..haha..thanks ye... laalaala~~:P

thats the good news laa..noe the bad news mood plak..

aku dah potong rambutt~~~:( penat membela almost one and a half semester..tupun after kene saman..demm~ but still nak sedapkan hati.. "rambut baru untuk praktikal~~~" muahaha

and other things.. adake.. klas stell khamis ari tu aku kene sound..siap kene halau lg~~huu sedey2..
act memang my fault pun..dunno la..thath day really noot in a mood for 'local buckling', 'initial load', 'load transfered', blaa..bla... 2 hours class lak tu..then i memain ar hp jat...huhu.. suddenly.."hey you.. please leave my class.. please go other place if u want to play wif ur hp"..haha..pikir2 klaka la plak..sorry ye dr walid.. lps ni i tak buat lggg~~promiseee :_(

ermm okla..got to 'makeup' for UCITY meeting..
adoilaa malas nye nak gi meeting panas2 bute ni..daaa~~

oh ye..sunday games, wish me luck ye..:)

2006-02-19T16:20:00.000+08:00

a tired week..
tak tau kenapa, lately aku senang sgt tertekan...easy to be under preasure condition.. honestly la..mungkin dari UCITY kot.. aku tensen ar..proposal aku bulat2 ditolak.pastu ada pulak insiden yang 'menyirap' kan aku..cakap belakang plak tu..aduhh..tah pape tah.. as a result..3 meeting without me..huhu..truk ek aku ni..biarlah..malas nak pikir..
yesterday is my first game..new season of UTP league. first game against my own batch (aku men ngan senior) what a weird feeling..tak penah2 plak lawan diorang..selalu men sekali ngan diorang..tp yg pentingnye aku menang..wuuhuu~~ haha

apa lg..not in a mood to mumbling la actually.. ermm..

tq ye sab banje aku n zuli ari tu..ko pasan tak sab..aku rasa ko sorang je lawat blog aku ni..muahaha

2006-02-09T21:43:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO IBU....

I LOVE U SO MUCH...

pic2 ni sume pic2 old school ni..the top want is around 90 something la... yg pic aku ngan ibu tu masa kat matrik..hehe..apa2 pun.. love them both..

2006-02-06T22:08:00.000+08:00

huhu~~ another pic in kl.. macam episod bersiri plak kuar sekeping by sekeping..biasa la..limited edition..haha..aku n amar....

2006-02-05T05:54:00.000+08:00

Take a minutes break and read this, think about it:

A group of children were playing near two railway tracks,one still in use while the other disused. Only one child played on thedisused track, the rest on the operational track.The train came, and you were just beside the trackinterchange. You could make the train change its course to the disusedtrack and saved most of the kids.
However, that would also mean the lone childplaying by the disused track would be sacrificed. Or would you ratherlet the train go its way?

Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we couldmake.............

How do you decide?

No cheating...What is your decision?

Most people might choose to divert the course of thetrain, and sacrifice only one child. You might think the same way, Iguess.

Exactly, I thought the same way initially because to savemost of the children at the expense of only one child was rationaldecision most people would make, morally and emotionally. But, haveyou ever thought that the child choosing to play on the disused trackhad in fact made the right decision to play at a safe place?
Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends whochoseto play where the danger was.

This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday. In theoffice, community, in politics and especially in a democraticsociety, the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of themajority, no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority is,and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority is.The child who chose not to play with therest on the operational track was sidelined. And in the case he wassacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him.

The friend who forwarded me the story said he would nottry to change the course of the train because he believed that thekids playing on the operational track should have known very well thattrack was still in use and that they should have run away if they heardthetrain's sirens. If the train was diverted, that lone child woulddefinitely die because he never thought the train could come over tothat track!

Moreover, that track was not in use probably because itwas not safe. If the train was diverted to the track, we could put thelives of all passengers on board at stake! And in your attempt to savea few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up sacrificinghundreds of people to save these few kids.

While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that needto be made, we may not realize that hasty decisions may not always be theright one."
Remember that what's right isn't always popular... andwhat's popular isn't always right."

Everybody makes mistakes; that's why they put erasers on pencils...

huhu~~

2006-02-04T04:22:00.000+08:00

this is the only pic in kl that i can get..tu pun grab dr trina. kalau ada lg nnti aku paste la lagi ye..

baru balik men futsal kat ipoh..penat gle..tapi stenderd ar aku ni..sampai je bilik, all the tired had flew away... sure takleh trus tido..donno y?is it a kind of deseasse or a gifted.. :P

having meeting with civil's head program, regarding UCITY program.. (err..UCITY tu civil punye club.. ko mesti tak tau kan sab..haha... aduhh punye la bnyk keje nak buat.. rugi ar korang sab pergi praktikal sem ni..macam2 kitorang nak wat.. including trip to new zealand n australia tau...haha..jeles ak jeles ak?.. takdelah..tu sume idea dr fadil je..just a simple trip to cameron highland..yeahh i know..what a place kan..takpela.. janji ada. the proposal for this trip gave me alot of preasure..n i dont like it. many thing need to be done. of course in a short time period. dahla i no nothing about cameron highland ni. pergi dulu pun time darjah 2 ke 3 tah dulu..mana la ingat lg.. anyway..i'll try my best to make it done..takmo ar..perli2 halus time dinner sem lepas ada lg..dem it.. sampai bile nak lari dari tanggungjawab n preasure kan.. i need to learn to handle it..maklumla..org nak praktikal dah ni.huhu~~

oh yeah.. tomorrow we will have our last game. facing UKM at our home ground. as usual.. no high hope..but rumours said that ukm pun + - mcm utp..sume game kalah..huhu~~ soo..harap2 dapat la utp kutip mata..takde la malu sgt..

ok la..adios.. mau mandi~~

2006-02-03T01:48:00.000+08:00

another bored night~~ donno what to do..just sitting here..wasting my times doing nothings..
-sigh-..

2006-02-02T02:59:00.001+08:00

its been a while since i'm lost with this blog..act ada la 2-3 blog yg aku dah try upload seblum ni..tapi sume sangkut..biasa lah..utp kan..ni pun using najib's pc..
aku sebenarnye baru balik dari kl ni..spend my chinese new year holiday with atoy, cheng n amar..seriesly.. im demn happy at that time..its been a long time i've had such a big laugh. sampai berasap2 la telinge gelak melayankan perangai huduh bebudak bertige tu.before that..cheng n atoy at last, sampai jugak ke utp ni..jenuh jugak le berjalan..
nak gak paste pic2 gempak kitorang..tapi confirm terhegeh2 nye nak upload nanti..
bebile leh upload nanti aku kasi la korang tgk..series..a lot of pic..macam orang korea datang kl lak jakunnye kitorang masa tu..haha..who cares..bukanye org kenal kitorang pun kat kl tu.

its feel so good..doing what ever i want to do..no one would ever stop me to have fun..(sond quitue depress right?) no la.. some times i feel just like my emotional stabilazation become flip-flop..
of course there will be some reason la.. takkan la tetibe je jd mcmtu..org gilanamanye..
what ever pun..life will not wait for my..mengadu domba.. it will keep ticking and moving. so do i.
apa pun yang jadi aku terime ngan hati yang terbuke..manusia can be a demn good planner.. but, HE will give the approval to our plan..huhu...
but doesnt mean that we just plan for nothing..setiap yg kite buat akan di balas..baik yg kita niatkan..baik jugakla balasan nye ..jahat niatnye..padanle muke korang nanti..
tuhan tu maha adil..ingat, we as a umat nabi Muhammad ada seribu satu kebaikan..one of them..God don't pay cash on us.tak semestinye apa yang kite betul2 kita hajati tu akan tuhan kasik bulat2.. but sometimes..the one that we want the most,is the one we wont get.doesnt mean that tuhan tu kejam terhadap kite.mungkin apa yang kite hajati tu bukan untuk kite.God is a MASTERPIECE in everything.HE know which is the best for us right....

waaa..apa la yang aku merepekkan pepagi bute ni..

the bottom is..jgn putus asa...huhu..

a lot things happen during my 2 months sem break back at home. i meant it..A LOT.. sampai tak larat nak addapt.but again..life will keep going..so do i.. but one thing for sure..(kalau diizinkan tuhan..) AKU AKAN TETAP MENUNGGU....

4rd year 2nd sem..bunyi macam senior ek..hehe..dah tue dah rupenye aku ni..22 years..n aku syukur yang aku masih boleh gune lubang idung aku ni tuk bernafas..dan 22 tahun jugakla aku dapat hidup dlm keadaan yang sempurna..huh..bunyi macam orng yg dah insap je..stenderd ar..awal2 sem sume2 insap.."sem ni mesti dapat dean list ar..." ayat yang wajib diulang setiap awal sem.. sem depan dah nak praktikal..yuuhuuu~ tak sabar rasanye..walaupun lis t com[any tak kyuar lg.. aku dah start cari2 lobang nak praktikal ni..of coursa la nak gi tempat2 yang gempak erk..schlumberger..exonmobile.. tapi aku tak mengharap sangt la ke company yg gempak2 ni..but seriesly..i'm dying to go to UEM..apa itu UEM? ia adalah sebuah organisasi pembinaan gergasi negara kita..haha..gempak tak intro...UEM tu united engineering Malaysia..Has kata dia bleh tolong aku kalau nak keje kat UEM..best2.. minta2 la dapat masuk sana..but still my first interest is praktikal with petronas. rasa macam nak kearah Oil n Gas plak..dengar cite si najmi n kak maisarah..macam best je oil n gas ni..huh..jauh tul planing..kuat btul berangan..arghh..sape nak marah ek aku berangan..lebih kurang cite2 ar tu..ahaks...

adoi..minta2 leh la update blog kali ni..kalu tak pnat aje aku taip panjang2 ni.. okla.. got to go..

ermm before that.. don't know why..but just want to say..please dont give 100% harapan kat diri aku ni..aku takut..korang gak yg kecewa nanti.. nape erk aku cakap bende ni?arghh..dah tulis malas plak nak delete..
ok la..
toodles..(<--- perkataan yang tak tau apa maksud dia.. denise ar selalu tulis)hhehe..:P

2006-02-02T02:59:00.000+08:00

2006-01-20T05:06:00.000+08:00

waa...its 5 in the morning..still cant drag my self to the bed.. kul 11 nnti dah nak drive sensorang balik ipoh..hopefully tak ngantuk la drive kete nanti..

my last night in my bed...dunno no y last minute ni macam malas plak nak balik utp. acap plak will spent his raya china holiday at kedah.thats mean..a week alone in my rome..adoila..boring la balik...

ermm along long lost connection to the net.. (credit to angah yg kasi pinjam id) thanks ye ngah..

alot things happen during this long2 holiday.. imean it.. aLOTS thing happen.. eppy..sedey.. bangga..sume ada..nak citer sume tu nanti tp nak kene tido la.. but ada la something tu yg really change me..dunno how to say ..but dont take it personal er..sorry 4 everything..

ermmm ..apa lg..takde idea dahla.. nanti2 la sambung balik..

2005-12-27T01:20:00.000+08:00

what a weekend..org sambut krismas pun tak sepenat aku ni aku rasa..kelmarin..duduk borak2 depan 7^11 alor gajah tu sampai ayam berkokok...semalam plak..sampai umah pkl 5 pagi..but trust me..all of it berbaloi..best gle hang out ngan bebudak ni..i need this..all my probs.. my tension2 things had flew away....susah nak kumpul2 ramai and hang out together mcm semalam tu..memasing ada komitmen masing2..kerja..praktikal.. komitmen ngan awek pun harus di ambil kira.. :P

congrats to os..selamat jugak ko mendirikan masjid kan.. Alhamdulillah..

bile tgk os kawin ni aku tergelak kenangkan diri aku..bnyk sgt kekurangan kat diri aku ni..baru aku sedar berapa bnyk aku dah mengabaikan idup aku selama 21 taun ni..rg lain dah berani amik tanggungjawab yg paling besar dah..aku..still lg mcm ni..tah kemana hala tuju aku..
bile aku nak belajar untuk hidup sebgi seorang dewasa ni?...

2005-12-25T05:14:00.000+08:00

baru balik~~ yeahh i know..its 5 in the morning..
hanging around wif dino,emer,pusar,pekyol,aziz n casper (all the way from KL)..gelak macam nakrak depan 7E alor gajah tu..memang best ar..lama btul tak gelak2 mcm tu..ni pun dah dipaksa balik..kalau tak lepak lg ni..
and today also.. majlis umah OS... kawin dah member aku sorang tu..12.30pm.. leh ke aku bgn ni..huhu.. gtg.. letey gelak arr~~

2005-12-24T01:46:00.000+08:00

this thing i've copied from denise..*bosan sesangat dah ni....*

1. What is the best nickname that u ever had? PanjanG of course....

2. Do you think suicide is the best way? Big Loser... ceh!

3. Rate your social life from scale 1 to10. 5

4. Are you in love with someone at the moment? IThink So..*wink*

5. Are you missing someone at the moment?ehermm..maybe..

6. Would you die for the one you love? Love?in term of family ok la kot..other than that..nahh

7. Do you think love hurts? Should be that way la right?!

8. Whats the best thing about love?arrr..dunno

9. Whats the worst thing about love?still dunno

10. Will you wait for someone you love? of course..

11. What song that best describes your lovelife at the moment?How abaout "she's like heroin- System Of A down"huhu...
12. Do you wanna get married?Antara 3 perkara yg dituntut supaya di percepatkan dlm ugama..:P

14. Have you talked to the person youlove in the last 24 hours? nope..dunno no when laa

15. Do you keep memories ortry to forget them?'forgive n forget' tiru denise..

16. Does love always on your side or theopposite way?ermmm.. neither one

17.Do you have a gay/lesbian/bisexual partner?no..

18. Are you sick of love? no comment

19. Are you sick of questions on love? sort of

20. What are you going to do today/tomorow? eat,sleep erm what else?

21. What do u want so bad right now? kicking n running... demn miss to play football

22. Do you think money is everything?lebih kurang camtu la

23. What song are you listening to right now?Revenga by System Of A down..
24. Whats the song that u last download?Ealya Dcc to me kelly clarkson..

25. How much do you love music?very addicted
26. Do you play an instrument?kompang.. count or not

27. Have you writen your own song?nope.. tak berbakat la..

28. What movie did you last watch?band Of The Brothers..2 thumbs Up

29. Do you believe in forever?yes.....- syurga n neraka of course

30. Whats the last word you want to say to yourloved ones? arr still waitingg~~

tiru denise lgi..mcm best plak buat bende ni...

[Marital Status]--- wait untill i'm 27 can or or not?.
[Siblings]--- 5
[Pets]--- chicken is a pet or not?..

FAVORITES
[Color]--- black + white + red.
[Number]---2 accidenttally sama plak ngan denise.. :P
[Animal]--- cats.
[Drinks]--- neslo RK + air kosong
[Book]--- news paper will be fine..
[Flower]--- not really..
[Color your hair?]--- naturally black
[Twirl your hair?]-- no...
[Have tattoos?]--- takmo2..
Have Piercings?]---who would be my doughter's Wali if i do so..
[Cheat on tests/homework?]-- dah jadi tabiat..huhu :P
[Drink/Smoke?]---nope.<-- hard to believe eerh..
[Like roller coasters?]--- wooo best2.
[Wish you could live somewhere else?]-- dunwant..
[Want more piercings?]--- aku mahu menjadi Wali kepada anak ku nantii~~
[Like cleaning?]---depends.
[Write in cursive or print?]--- print
[Own a web cam?]---nope.
[Know how to drive?]-- experties..huhu.. learn from me la denise..
[Own a cell phone?]--- yup[Ever get off the damn computer?]---hard to..

HAVE YOU EVER...
[Been in a fistt fight?]-- Once i Think..nahh funny think to remember..huhu
[Considered a life of crime?]-- no
[Considered being a hooker?]--- no
[Tried to be someone?]--- someone like what...?
[Been in love?]-- arrr..no comment
[Made out with JUST a friend?]--nak kene sula ke apa ni..
[Used someone]---??
[Been used?]--- i guess so..demn..
[Been cheated on?]--- yeeah!!!!
[Stolen anything?]--- Alhamdulillah mampu buy it 4 my self...
[Held a gun]--- CS..huhu..

CURRENTS
[Current clothing]---track and t-shirt
[Current mood]--- happy n lonely..how's that?
[Current taste]---french fries n mayonis..diet tuu~~ :P
[What you currently smell like]--- dying to have Tommy..(berebut ngan acap...hhuhu)
[Current hair]--- ibu cant stop mumbling to ask me to cut it..nooo~~.
[Current thing I ought to be doing]---waiting to mengantuk
[Current cd in stereo]--- Kelly Clarkson
[Last book you read]---stop reading 4 a month...
[Last movie you saw]--- Band Of The Brothers
[Last thing you ate]-- french Fries
[Last person you talked to on the phone]- Alin..
[Do drugs?]-- hahah.never!BELIA BENCI DADAH!!
[Believe there is life on other planets?-- wallahualam
[Remember your first love?]--- takkan lupe nye
[Read the newspaper?]---yup..
[Have any gay or lesbian friends?]--- nope..;p
[Believe in miracles?]--- i believe in God
[Do well in school?]--huhu not really ar..!
[Wear hats]---had quit 4 a long time..!
[Hate yourself?]--- no la
[Have an obsession?]---everything that i want to..(apalah yg aku jawab ni)
[Collect anything?]---NIKE..NIKE n NIKE..hope have a boutique :P
[Have best friends?]---yerp
[Close friends?]-- of course do
[Like your handwriting?]---sometimes...
[Care about looks]---depends

LOVE LIFE
[First crush]--- haha.. of course u remember!.
[First kiss]--- waaa....
[Do you believe in love at first sight?]--- yup..my ustad pun percaya pe..
[Do you believe in "the one?"]---100%. if dats wat ppl call jodoh
[Are you a tease?]-- 4 what?
[Too shy to make the first move?] --- sapelah yg cipta "perigi Cari Timba" tu....

ARE YOU A
[Daydreamer]--- used to..mostly time cuti ni..
[Bitch/Asshole]--- neither
[Shy]--- ikut mood [Talkative]-- to a chosen people..

::another one::

1.how old will you be by dec 31st 2005?
21 ++
2.what are you studying now?
its holiday
3.how often do you change your friendsterprofile?
jarang..malas ar..
4.the first thing you do with your birthdaymoney?
time besday org dpt duit er?..tak tau plak..
5.favourite website?
blog
6.favourite sport to watch?
soccer
7.favourite tv channel?
any channel dat i feel like watching
8.would you go on a trip alone?
best gak tu
9.when your parents go away for theweekend, what do you do?
makan luar ar..
10.your idea of a great date?
kedai mamak pun ok kan...
11. your idea of a great vacation?
vacation to europe with fully supported..hehe
12.ever gone camping?
yup..
13.favourite movies of all time?
lots of themm..i'm a movie freaking..
14.last book you read?
told ya already..
15.last sms sent
Dino
16.any upcoming things to look forwardto?
My game in Uni league
17.proud to be the nationality you are?
Malaysia boleh!!
18.height?
180 cm
19.are you a morning person?
surely nope..
20.what's your fave decorative item in yrroom?
My bed...huhu
21.do you like your current hairstyle?
erm okla..
22.what about the color?
nak kaler apa lg..itam la best..
23.last time you had a good laugh?
ngan dino..2 minggu lepas..(uish..lama jugak aku tak gelak ni..)
24.current mood?
arr..skipp..
25.what song are you currently listening to?
More Than words(New version) who who sing this song ar?..
26.what are you doing at this moment?
this survey..buhsann~~
27.what are your plans for the day?
kuar bgan pekyol kot..
28.what are you wearing today?
track n tshirt

yeaa abiss..penat baca?huhu~~ padan muke korang...buring2~~

2005-12-22T16:49:00.000+08:00

huhu~~ 1st tim in a month.. kat umah takleh ol ar...tah apa setting pc aku yg tak kene tu..nothing much to say.. ni pun ada kat cc ayoi.. malas nak ol lelama.. kalau setting pc kat umah tu dah ok aku ol balik ar.

2005-11-19T23:58:00.000+08:00

yeahh..kepenatan selepas balik dari 2 majlis kawin...acap's sister and zati ( seperately la of course...) one in alor star and one in sg Petani..aiyoo penat gle..sharp 10.30 gerak dr utp.. (after a tension and dissapointment paper).idup2 student drama kene tipu...soklan tak sama langsung seperti hint yg dikasi.. nasib laa.. enough wif that..

three different car wif 11 people..memule tade prob..sampaila ..

1. kete deli kene saman (tp nsb baik lepas~~ suap deli jgn tak suap..haha)

2. berenti rnr Gurun, kete acap plak kene cium..

nmpk tak kemek dia?hehe..dapat gak le claim 100..

and the third prob..mcm beser la..'my darling' tu meragam lg...adehh...tp Alhamdulillah, sume selamat

baru sampai umah acap..memasing tgh sangap nasi minyak ni~~ dengan tak sarapan nye..(nape dlm pic ni, i seems to be 'bigger' than usual ha?)

muke2.. org yg dah kekenyangan.. nak jln pun dah tak larat dah.

sampai air basuh tgn pun abis kitorang hirup laa...

and the best part is..jeng jeng jeng...

gambar ngan pengantin tu..hehe..cube lihat siapa di sebelah pengantin~~muahaha...

lps je amik2 gambar..trus ke s.petani plak..tapi kat sana tak dapat amik2 pic..sebab sampai pun dah petang..pengantin (zaty) pun dah tukar bj..so kejap jela kitorang kat sana..

adehhh..penat2..lps ni kene study la plak..2 killer papers are waiting..laalaa~~

oohh yee..seblum terlupe..

special gifts for a special guesst..hehe. tq acap...

iyah2~~ study....

2005-11-18T17:46:00.000+08:00

just finished my OB paper...itulah paper yg paling kemas aku penah buat aku rasa...sedap je mata memandang.. tp jawapan, as usual..hentam cromox

pastu abis paper..igt nak ajak le sorang temankan aku gi ipoh amik hp aku..sume bantai tidoq...ces.. so aku pun terpaksa la join the club...bile la nak amik hp ni..

tomorow will be my Drama & Theater paper..hehe.. klaka je bile pikirkan amik drama n theater ni.. pastu gi kedah~~ umah acap kenduri kawin kaka dia..makan2~~ nyiahaha

2005-11-16T23:02:00.000+08:00

A little test before studying OB...managed to answer one question corectly..what a poor me...

Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question.

You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are....

Ready? GO!!!

First Question: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong!

If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Try not to screw up next time.

Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?

Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are...? (scroll down)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?

You're not very good at this, are you?

Third Question: Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calcu! lator. Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30.Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000.Now add 10. What is the total?

Scroll down for answer.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.

If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!

Today is definitely not your day, is it?

Maybe you'll get the last question right....

....Maybe.

Fourth Question: Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Did you Answer Nunu?

NO! Of course it isn't.Her name is Mary. Read the question again!

Okay, now the bonus round: A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ He just has to open his mouth and ask... It's really very simple.... Like you!

KEEP THIS GOING TO FRUSTRATE THE

SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE

2005-11-14T22:57:00.000+08:00

just finished my rc (renforced concrete) project..-sigh-..300 pages full with calculation..tapi kalau applikasikan calculation tu for the real house..roboh aku rasa rumah tu..haha..memang kitorang buat calculation tu tuk siapkan project je..janji hantar.. :P

and now..its final mode..really2 hope that i can focus 100% to my paper..since a lot of 'inner' probs, i really hope that it will not efffects my mood.

first paper..HSE..wednesday 9.30 am..gambate neh....

pray for my succes ye friends...

2005-11-11T02:27:00.000+08:00

hp aku rosak.... adoilaaa~~~

2005-11-08T14:27:00.000+08:00

coming back from raya breakk..arghhh.. its back to 'mentally torture' time.. final is really2 just around the corner..

lets forget about final and talks about my raya time..hehe... i think this year is my bussiest and happiest raya ever..ramai gle member2 lama yang dapat aku jumpe balik.. 2 hari gak le aku tak lekat kat umah..just went home to take a bath je.. ibu pun bising.. :P

memang best giler ar dapat borak2 ngan member2 yg ada tu 4-5 taun tak jumpe..macam2 gaya dah diorang skang ni.memasing dah keje..pki kete besar2..jeles2 .ada yang dah bertunang.. ada yang nak kawin..(congrats ye os & his fiance. kalau ada masa nanti aku datang la majlis korang tu) yang tgh menunggu anak ke-2 pun ada dah..(gagah gak ko ni tuek) tp bgs le...happy je aku tgk korang sume happy.

paling best sekali..aku dapat jumpe my twins 'khairul izwan b jamaludin'. nama kitorang dalam ic sebijik2 same..cume no ic ngan muke je tak same..after about4 years tak jumpe...a big change to my oll buddies.. dah men tuk Malaysia dah ko ye bi'.. ingat lg masa kite sesama men tuk sek dulu..hehe..nanti gi sea games nanti jgn lupe bawak buah tangan tuk aku..hehe..

thanks to dino,casper and azmil sebab sentiasa melekat ngan aku raya kali ni..

bile lagi la nak dapat jumpe korang lg ye..

want to say sorry to my teknik& matrik buddies..sorry sesangat tak dapat jumpe korang..cuti singkat sangat ar..

kepada bebudak oversea tu..balik le malaysia..ramai yg dah bertanya bile nak balik tu...hehe..

and from now on either i want or not, i must forced myself to turn into 'gigih' mode..pliss.. is there any cure for 'lazy sindrom'?

good luck for ur friday paper ye denise :P

2005-10-28T14:33:00.000+08:00

arghh..at last, here comes the friday.. what a exhausted week.. 4 test in a week..adoilaa.. want to go back home ar..an d want to 'qada' all my sleeping time in here..

this portfolio ar..aiyaa..really make me sick ar.. 30 pages of essay and article really make my week empty without nice2 sleep.. arghh..i almost forget, tonight i got another test.. =( really dont have a mood to read that long2 note..bukannye masuk pun kalu baca time2 ni..hehe. the happiest part is, after the test.. balik kampung~~ooo balik kampung~~...

arr.. i think this is my last blogging before raya (really hope there is still inernet connection at my home).. soo..i want to take this opportunity to wish selamat hari raya.. maaf ye kalau ada tersalah silap, halalkan makan minum..

to denise, jgn sedey2 ye beraya kat tmpt org..best pe raya kat aus tu..teringin gak aku nak beraya kat oversea ni..hehe..

okla.. ni nak memaksa diri baca notes gak ni..waaa~~

2005-10-25T12:30:00.000+08:00

special wish to Nurul Nadia bt Ibrahim widely known as denise on her 21st birthday.. moge panjang umur & murah rezeki... :P

Birthday girl..

2005-10-23T21:25:00.000+08:00

'pertandingan meneka bola??'hadiah menarik menanti anda~~

kunun2 men kat arsenal ar ni~

ni sume pic masa men futsal di tengah2 bulan ramadhan~~bahananye, kaki terseliuh..adoilaaa

2005-10-23T20:09:00.000+08:00

at last.. dapat gak paste pic.. ni pic masa dinner civl depart minggu lepas...

to all the comitte.sorry for being worst Project Man..hope can conduct next event better than this~..

dlm proses menjahanamkan percussion bebudak nasyid~ =P

makhluk2 ganas merangkap bebudak umah aku~..just me with baju melayu..poyo erk..hehe kene sambut tetamu~~ tu kene formal skit.

manage to gather all civil's boys (yg guls nye tak tau kemana~ 3 orang je pun~hehe..) from my batch..

2005-10-23T03:58:00.000+08:00

kaki sakit...
org bulan pose ngaji~~ ni gi men futsal..
padan la muke~~

2005-10-19T20:07:00.000+08:00

final exam timetable dah kuar...adoilaa...sungguh kijam exam unit ini kepada diriku huu~~....

HSE--->16 nov
OB--->18
Drama plak -->19.

yg tige subjek ni takpe lg.. sebab takdela susah sgt.. and the best part is here..

Reinforced Concrete--->23
hydro--->24

adoila..terkehel pale otak camni..tp baru sikit ni..ada lagi...

transportation eng--->28
foundation & earth struc---> 29..

kalau aku dimasukkan ke tanjung rambutan ke selepas exam ni...datangla melawat aku ye...
waaa~~

2005-10-16T03:33:00.000+08:00

going ipoh wif acap,deli,libe and pert.searching for acap's guitar set..manage to learn a lot about guitar..at last, rm 2400 ibanez guitar wif ibanez amp and (dunno the brand of it) a set of effect is in acap's locker right now..ni yg terasa nak blaja men guitar ni..haha..lps beli trus pegi bawak guitar tu gi jamming..
in our way back to utp (after having a 'transporter2' wif them) 4 of us(pert going wif another car) have a 'unlimited' thinking conversation..seems like mengarut..but apa yg kitorang bincangkan tu btul2 mencabar minda..haha.. macam..kenapa manusia ada perasaan.. who is create the way of our ife today..and and many2 more question that we ourself dunno how to understand it..soklan2 yg bila kite dengar, kita akan cakap "a'a ek..betul jugak tu.."haha..best2..
letih jugak le rasa badan ni..oh yeah..yesterday is my civil engr department dinner..a simple farewell party for finalyear student and buke pose.. not ot grand but still syok la for me..yela..as a project manager kan..sape la tak syok majlis berjalan lancar.. about to get a ber male dreesses that night..but lose to abg johan (my lab technician) wif 1 undi..which all of my undi is written by myself..(saje je memain..tade niat pun nak menang..=p)haha..and for my first time in my whole life..i've won the lucky draw..yeaa.. no keramatnye ialah '111'..nice no right?..but of course la..'project manager' takkan pegang satu no je kan..i have 5 others no wif me..but seriesly la..111 tu memang no asal aku..memang aku simpan no tu dari awal. 4 no lain tu tiket lebih ..tp yg sadisnye..balik2 je umah..abis dah hamper2 tu bebudak umah aku ni baraikan..haha..ni kes jeles aku pegang bnyk tiket ar ni.
nak post pic2 mlm tu..tapi stenderd la network utp ni..sumenye takleh...nanti le..bebile boleh nanti..aku post la ye..
ermm..need to take a rest la.. adios...

2005-10-05T11:29:00.000+08:00

Scars of Love

Some years ago on a hot summer day in south Florida a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went. He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore.His mother, in the house, was looking out the window and saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, she ran toward the water, yelling to her son as loudly as she could. Hearing her voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a U-turn to swim to his mother.It was too late. Just as he reached her, the alligator reached him. From the dock, the mother grabbed her little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs. That began an incredible tug-of-war between the two.The alligator was much stronger than the mother, but the mother was much too passionate not to let go his son.A farmer happened to drive by, heard her screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator.Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived. His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack of the animal. And, on his arms, were deep scratches where his mother's fingernails dug into his flesh in her effort to hang on to the son she loved.The newspaper reporter who interviewed the boy after the trauma, asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs; and then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, "But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my mom didn’t let me go."

Bottomline: ALLAH LOVES US MORE THAN 70 MOTHERS.

We are like that little boy. We have scars, too, some are deep and some are mild. No, not from an alligator, or anything quite so dramatic. But, the scars of a painful past. Some of those scars are unsightly and have caused us deep regret. But, some wounds, my friends, are because God has refused to let go(towards destruction). In the midst of your struggle, He's been there holding on to us.The Holy Qu'ran and other Holy Scriptures teach that Allah (s.w.t) loves you. If you have GOD in your life, you should know He is your PROTECTOR. He wants to protect you and provide for you in every way. But sometimes we foolishly wade into dangerous situations. The swimming hole of life is filled with peril and its temptations distance us from our Lord- and we forget that the enemy is waiting to attack. That's when the tug-of-war begins - and if you have the scars of His love on your arms, be very, very grateful. He did not - and will not - let you go. Because He is more closer to you than your jugular veins are to you.

just a little good story to fill up our time...donno why..i've found it very interesting.. do u?