how would u know the inside me?

this morning i was 'hit'. hit by 'something'. 2 possibilities. either it will change my whole life forever, neither nor. haih..
if u feel like being f**k up, i feel 10 times than dat. not means to blame anyone. but den this is what really happend. this is life. i know that after this, maybe, 99% maybe u'll not have a trust on me. its up to. if u can see what have i've been through all this time, u would understand. i have no body to 'merenyeh2' with. i have no place to split out the bleed inside me. this is just my place. what i write maybe not as same i've said to u. but i thing u know me. u know me very well.how would i react when i in a moody mode, angry mode and what so ever.
lately, u've changed my thought to u. (remember our long conversation on my b'day night? i bet u will) i'm happy wif dat.very2 happy with what have u done, with what have u said, and the way u act to me. its a dame sweetest thing to me. but den, as u said. ur trust to me is lesser and lesser. i cant do anything wif dat. sorry sorry and sorry..