Monday, September 11, 2006

Toys R' Us

i'm in office rite now.
bored..


what should i do?apa yang aku nak buat bagi menghilangkan kebosanan aku ni? kalau aku kat umah, aku dah lama tido dah. semalam aku tido lambat. ke aku tak tido semalam? aku pun da tak ingat. jalan2 sampai ke jengka. penat? tak pun... should be end as one happy trip. but den, i stupid as usual, spoilt everything.stupid me change happy 'atmosphere' into a thunder storm with a stupid style.what a stupid me.


haih...


pagi tadi aku sibuk. sibuk 'mensibuk'kan diri aku. cube untuk senyum. cube untuk gelak ngan dak2 opis ni.cube tuk kekang fikiran aku untuk tidak keluar melayang dari 'kotak' yg ada cop UEM ni. cube untuk hidup sebagai manusia normal. susah betul nak hidup sebagai manusia normal hari ni... finally, aku dapat gak keje. translatekan satu kertas kerje from english to BM. one of the biggest job. susah woo..rasa macam budak form 1 je. ngan terms2 yang pelik2. aku rasa dah jadi lawak dah BM aku. bukan nak cakap aku ni pandai sangat BI sampai tak tau dah Bahasa ibunda kite. just dat, "I feel stupid when speak Malay " is malay stupid? nope. am i to 'mulia. to speak malay? also nope. just dat,Malay standard is too high for me... aku paham perasaan Sharifah Aleya.. :P dan aku pun dah start mengarut....


after took 3 hours to translate all the paper works( what a slow me...) here i am, back to the start.
bored...


got little conversation with cik azman. bout my 'bored' things. tak banyak pun yang berubah. same je. hajat untuk aku di transfer ke UEM Builders mungkin aku terpaksa lupekan. apatah lagi untuk aku tukar company. kenapa nak tukar company? hanya mereke dan keluarga mereka je yang tau..


sebenarnye aku tak tau nak tulis apa..radio kat belakang aku ni tgh kuar lagu samson-bukan diriku. lagu tema tuk aku hari ni. jiwang? hehe.. salah ke? tak kan..? hanyalah luahan seorang insan kerdil yang tak paham erti 'kehidupan'. yang seringkali tersungkur dalam mencari arah hidup ini.. perghhh.. ayat dewan bahasa ni.


Tibe2 dada aku senak. senak yang sangat2. sampai sekarang terasa lagi. susah tuk bernafas. sampai sekarang aku terurut2 lagi dada aku. haih, kenapa yek?


itu membuatkan aku terpikir, kite hidup tak lama. tak esok, luse, tah2 kejap kang. bebile saje nyawa yang kita 'pinjam' ni akan di ambik balik. dah cukup sedia ke aku ni?


kadang2 aku rasa aku ni hanyalah patung, untuk sedap didengar dan mengikut peredaran masa, aku rasa hidup aku ni hanyalah seperti sebuah action figure. action figure yang boleh dibeli kat Toys R'Us tu.yang orang boleh ambik dan mainkan. dan aku mempunyai expired date. expired date yang ditentukan oleh DIA. so sebelum sampai due date tu, aku hanyalah sebuah jasad, yang boleh dimain bile kesunyian, dan dibiarkan ketika tidak diperlukan.aku sedaya upaya mencuba tuk puaskan hati tuan yang memegang dan memainkan aku. dihargai atau tak? terserah. aku just menjalankan tugas aku. berjaya atau tak? terserah.


dan sekali lagi aku tersedar yang aku sedang mengarut... haih...


dada aku still senak lagi...


ermmm...what else,


do u aggree if i said "Finding theright person is very hard and very wrong.." ? it is best to be the right person for the one you love and start from there, u'll always end up dissapointed when u set standards and define a 'right person' for u.you can never be perfect... the person u love also can never be perfect. but both of u can be perfect through love and prayers.u should go through together to be perfect. tepuk sebelah tangan takkan bunyik kan?


Others said that love is immortal and can never be defined . when we're in love, the first thing we want is to tell the world that our love is very special and can never be taken away from us. we keep say this phrase, ' u are the most wonderful gift from God i ever received." but den, after a terrible fight or sometimes even a petty quarrel, the phrase changed, " u are the biggest mistake i ever made for my entire life!!"


Now, how do u really spell and pronounce L-O-V-E? are u sure u are really deeply into it?


Nobody can tell what love really is, until experience speaks for it self, untill experience itself whispers to our ears. at that stage, u'll know .Most of the time, these love promises like "Forever, Till death tears us apart", "lautan api pun sanggup ku renangi" and bla.. bla.. bla would end up "Never", "we should part ways, I'm no longer happy with u! my love for you is DEAD!!!"


i think i'm right, there is no such things as perfect relationship, but there's a compatible partnership that goes along with it. if u are already knew that u are to big to fit into a small expensive shirts, dont u ever give a try, u'll probably tears it and got to pay for the damages. ifu knew and felt that the relationship will not last, don't go deeper into it. for sure u'll drown.


if u call it love when u cant leave someone and see them crying as we try to let go, u are wrong, its just pity.


if u call it love when u're too attached and think that losing the one we love will somehow make us weak and unable to face the storms of life. u mis understood. its just u are totally useless


and if u call it love when u give ur whole life to someone, the wholeness of us and imagined that if he/she leave, no one would accept u and ur past, once again u are wrong. its just unsecurity.


but no matter what definition it is, the truth still remains that love isn't something u can buy nor beg. it is real and existing.


u cant touch it but u can feel it.
u cant find it but it will knock before u expect it to come.


it can make u the happiest soul n heaven, but dont forget that it also can make u the most misearable person in the whole galaxie...


do u aggree?


haih..
apa2 pun, carilah kebahagiaan masing2.. sebelum Toys R' Us 'dirobohkan'...


aku nak demam.. :(



1 Comments:

Blogger denise said...

i wud say the greatest love would be if u love someone because of Him.,,,cos God is immortal. So when u love sumeone because of god,,, then your love will be endless,,there's no end to it.. Anyway..nicely written!

5:46 PM  

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