Monday, January 19, 2009

Thank GOD for the gift

There is one long time ago that one of my 'best friend' telling me that she is getting engaged. And it was only a year ago that she sobbed that marriage is not coming to her way. Being the drama queen that she is, im felt a bit shocked. I want so much to be happy for her. Instead when i heard the news - for the first time in my life- I was speechless.

i didn't call her. Perhaps secretly, i was half expecting and hoping that she would come to her senses and call it off, but most of all, i become aware where my life was heading; of how our lives should as we grow older. Maybe, im afraid of it.

i am reluctant to admit but i am at a point where my life is evolving. if you could imagine a vertical scale beginning at very bootom that label as 'birth', then 'first step', followed by 'first word', so on and so forth. i think i would be place myself somewhere between the labels 'grow up for god's sake' and 'marriage'.

sometimes if i go through my routines lifes, obviously that its is changing from time to time. i was happy then i realised that m friends one by one are bitting the dust. i tried to revealed this to one of my friend and he concluded that it's because i haven't really "settle-down". unbeknownst of him, i have a secret hate about the phrase - "settle down". it sounds that i really doing something wrong or am seriously lagging behind everyone else.

"when do you really settel down, then?" i asked. "when you find THE ONE... and that could be a person or GOD" he answered. Essesntially that means that at the end of the day, your life could end in one of two scenarious; you find the person you're meant to devote the rest of your life. Faling which you surrender yourself completely to GOD. if in odd chances that you could find yourself stucjk between that, you must belong to a very rare and small percentage of populations.

i find myself adapting, adapting to that inevitable change and although it is quite a stark contrast to what i am used to be. i have to admit, im enjoying it. i am quite content to stay at home on weekdays and even as i am writing this, i have already showered, paid my dues to God, finishing having my less-salt-many-sossage fried rice and am sitting confortably in bed. the thing is its only 9. damn...

so, when most of my friends geting prepare to 'settle down', so to speak, what become of you? the singleton? i asked my dear old friend (who i think a bit similar pridiciment as me) if he would feel any preassure of finding someone so as not to be alone. he answerd "yes...ermm but not so much because i think marriage is just more to companionship. i would prefere it to be more than happy if it develops into something seriously" he asnwered.

i asked myself if that is the reason to get into a relationship. i mean that seems rather desperate and there is nothing more unatractive than being needy. but having contemplated, i realise that its just means that you are open to dating untill you eventually find that somebody who is worthly enough t spend the res of your life with.

but being a tiny servants of HIM, i do thanks for all the things that HE had gave and will be give ( InsyaAllah the best for me from the Almighty). im happy for what i get and try to put a smile in every thing that i need to face or every stumbling blocks that i need to climb off. in the end, i do believe, something goods is waiting. its just a matter of how we accept it. in a chapter of JODOH, i just can pray the best of it and once again its from HIM. hopefully everything going well and i really looking forward about it. hehe...

p/s: just want to take this tiny chance to say a BIG F**K to ISRAEL (shit... even to spell it makes me sick)... together we help PALESTENIANS. even though its just a 5 seconds pray.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I believe u will find the right one someday :)

3:54 PM  
Blogger zatihazira said...

haha. lamenye tak stalk blog ni. kahkahkah.

kamu ingt kah saye? budak UEM

12:05 AM  

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