shugholum syadada

last week 3 kenduri kawin.

• rawang - aku tak kenal siapa yg kahwin.huhu. kawan Fati.perkahwinan biasa.maksud aku biasa bukan tak best n standard dia jatuh ke tahap biasa. maksud aku adat n flow biasa. majlis kat rumah perempuan. aku n fati datang bawak hadiah. makan. 'lauk ayam dia sedap' dahtu tunggu pengantin lelaki datang. kompang.mp3 pun di'play'kan n mkn2 potong kek. amik gambar. dahtu balik. biasakan?
• Kota Tinggi- mamat kmj kawin. naik kereta pelik.pert dan atoi ada sekali.perjalanan yg sngt jauh dan beronak duri. belum aku naik kete si pelik, bateri dia rosak. berhujan kat shell tunggu nak beli batery spare.sampai JB lepak dengan kayap, amir, petpet, cheng, KLDK, Kecik, cik mus. layan ManU titik Fulham.yuhuu~.tapi Man U kene balik ngan Liverpool. damn it. tido bergelimpangan dekat umah kayap. pepaginye makan lauk ayam masak kantan, resepi baru mak kayap.pelik mkn bnyk. atoi pura2 makan sikit tapi makan bnyk. sampai kat kota pukul satu. mamat kawin bawah pedang sebab dia kapten TUDM. yang peliknya, majlis kat umah perempuan tapi pengantin laki lak duk tunggu pengantin pempuan. so tunggula kitorang lama2. panas kedahang. cheng dah mcm baru dalam bilik sauna.tepuk perut dia, ada bekas tapak tngn kat baju dia.peluh dah macam badak berendam da.cameraman suruh geng2 pengantin lelaki ami gambar cepat2 sebb nak suruh kitorang balik awal. kalau tak dia takut akan berlaku kekecohan diluar kawalan. taktik kameraman tu berjaya. lepas amik gambar trus kitorang balik. mandi airterjun 'mahal tapi tak best'.kene bayar sorang 10hinggit. mandi kejap, ujan plak. tapi aku, cheng, pert, pelik n atoy, buat bodo trus mandi. main gelongsor kat celah2 batu. bontot masing2 terhakis.tapi aku tak, sebb aku duduk atas, pancing konon2 tahan air jgn bagi laju. padahal aku tukang gelak. sekali bunyi petir pakej dengan kilat, barula sedar diri n naik darat. dahtu, balik melaka. p/s: Cheng, aku tau ko boleh n akan dapat. just truskan usaha murni mu.
• Putrajaya. MAnok kawin. RSVP kat dewan seri siantan. muke manok lain siot. mcm muke keras jek. tapi makanan n tempat best. takde kompang pun majlis ni. kalau ada kompang kang, bergema plak dewan tu. menggantikan kompang, Hjh Robiah berzanji, dr pintu masuk sampai pelamin. Omar cakap suara tu suara lelaki. mengong. Penat Hjh Robiah tu buat suara soprano dia. dahtu lepas tepung tawar, Hjh tadi trus jadi saloma. nyanyi plak. ngan sorang lagi artis. Jin (ni aku yg dengar masa MC tu anounce) korang kenal Jin? takpe. aku pun tak kenal. ramai gile bebudak utp. ramai gile awek hot TKC. balik lepak Hartamas sampai 3 pagi ngan olin.

minggu ni memang sibuk mengalahkan saiful nang yg amik gambar org kawin tu.sbb aku kene amik gambar delegasi oversea yg datang ke kerteh ni. 3hari kene ikut diorang n amik gambar. kalau saiful nang tu da dapat 8-10K da upah. tapi aku hnya dapat mkn malam di hotel, sehelai koprat shirt.yahoo...

P/S: Dalam bnyk2 binatang, binatang apa yang paling laju. (soalan untuk pelik, atoy, cheng, amar n arina. kalau power jawab la) Hint: jawapan dah bagi.

one year old

Semalam, 17/02/09 genap setahun aku di kerteh ni. genap setahun jugak la aku bergelar 'pemuda makan gaji'. Happy Anniversary to myself.

lately ive found myself really passionate into something which is i never expected before. GOLF. I love golfing. eventhough baru sekali 2 pergi driving range n tak pernah masuk green, i know, i would love this game. planning to buy one golf set already. sadly i have buyed one speed light for my beloved alpha.ni satu lagi hobby yang mahal. but its ok. as long i love it,i dont mind. kalau kite dah sayang, semua bende kite sanggup buat kan2??! tak semua org kot.. :)

there will be something big coming up... just wait n see... hehehe.

will be in kl this weekend to settle up some issue. heard that cheng also will be in kl. bagus2.

i need a long2 holiday, anyone.. aku cuti panjang bulan march. sesapa ada plan.. kamon2.

Thank GOD for the gift

There is one long time ago that one of my 'best friend' telling me that she is getting engaged. And it was only a year ago that she sobbed that marriage is not coming to her way. Being the drama queen that she is, im felt a bit shocked. I want so much to be happy for her. Instead when i heard the news - for the first time in my life- I was speechless.


i didn't call her. Perhaps secretly, i was half expecting and hoping that she would come to her senses and call it off, but most of all, i become aware where my life was heading; of how our lives should as we grow older. Maybe, im afraid of it.


i am reluctant to admit but i am at a point where my life is evolving. if you could imagine a vertical scale beginning at very bootom that label as 'birth', then 'first step', followed by 'first word', so on and so forth. i think i would be place myself somewhere between the labels 'grow up for god's sake' and 'marriage'.


sometimes if i go through my routines lifes, obviously that its is changing from time to time. i was happy then i realised that m friends one by one are bitting the dust. i tried to revealed this to one of my friend and he concluded that it's because i haven't really "settle-down". unbeknownst of him, i have a secret hate about the phrase - "settle down". it sounds that i really doing something wrong or am seriously lagging behind everyone else.


"when do you really settel down, then?" i asked. "when you find THE ONE... and that could be a person or GOD" he answered. Essesntially that means that at the end of the day, your life could end in one of two scenarious; you find the person you're meant to devote the rest of your life. Faling which you surrender yourself completely to GOD. if in odd chances that you could find yourself stucjk between that, you must belong to a very rare and small percentage of populations.


i find myself adapting, adapting to that inevitable change and although it is quite a stark contrast to what i am used to be. i have to admit, im enjoying it. i am quite content to stay at home on weekdays and even as i am writing this, i have already showered, paid my dues to God, finishing having my less-salt-many-sossage fried rice and am sitting confortably in bed. the thing is its only 9. damn...


so, when most of my friends geting prepare to 'settle down', so to speak, what become of you? the singleton? i asked my dear old friend (who i think a bit similar pridiciment as me) if he would feel any preassure of finding someone so as not to be alone. he answerd "yes...ermm but not so much because i think marriage is just more to companionship. i would prefere it to be more than happy if it develops into something seriously" he asnwered.


i asked myself if that is the reason to get into a relationship. i mean that seems rather desperate and there is nothing more unatractive than being needy. but having contemplated, i realise that its just means that you are open to dating untill you eventually find that somebody who is worthly enough t spend the res of your life with.


but being a tiny servants of HIM, i do thanks for all the things that HE had gave and will be give ( InsyaAllah the best for me from the Almighty). im happy for what i get and try to put a smile in every thing that i need to face or every stumbling blocks that i need to climb off. in the end, i do believe, something goods is waiting. its just a matter of how we accept it. in a chapter of JODOH, i just can pray the best of it and once again its from HIM. hopefully everything going well and i really looking forward about it. hehe...


p/s: just want to take this tiny chance to say a BIG F**K to ISRAEL (shit... even to spell it makes me sick)... together we help PALESTENIANS. even though its just a 5 seconds pray.

a new chapter

tak terlambat rasanye aku nak mengucapkan selamat tahun baru. selamat tahun baru hijrah dan masihi. tahun ni aku tak terasa langsung perubahan tahun. seblum2 ni kalau dekat tahun baru, sibuk pikir malam new year nak lepak mana, apa aktiviti taun baru. tapi taun ni sikit pun tak terlintas. walaupun aku dapat la undangan makan malam + karaoke bersama Saleem, tapi skit pun tak excited mcm dulu. ini ke tanda2 penuaan? :)

2008 bagi aku bnyk maknanye. perubahan demi perubahan yang berlaku. perubahan fizikal, mental, hidup, semua berubah.

aku sudah bergelar graduan. selepas 5 tahun bersabung kepala otak, akhirnya aku dapat jugak bersalam dengan Tun. sekeping ijazah ni la yang nak menentukan arah idup aku selepas ni. Alhamdulillah.

tahun ni jugak aku telah dilamar. dilamar oleh company idaman aku. nak target schlumberger, shell and exxon mcm tinggi sngt je cita2 tu. tapi aku tetap bersyukur. result aku masa kat utp taklah sehebat mana. boleh aku cakap memang tak hebat pun. Alhamdulillah, rezeki tuk aku masih ada. mayb berkat doa ibu n ayah masa pergi haji awal taun dulu, aku dapat kerja ni.

kat sinilah aku belajar hidup sendiri, kat sini lah aku belajar apa itu tanggungjawab, jerit perih seseorang bergelar 'pekerja' mencari rezeki. baru lah tau susahnye nak cari duit tu. n masa ni jugak la aku tau, bnyk duit n boleh beli apa yang kite nak belum tentu akan buat kite happy. :) hopefully tahun ni akan jadi tahun rezeki tuk aku, dapat bonus besar, increament tinggi.. (tamak2.. nyumm)

Dan inilah buah hati pengerang jantung saya. keluarga Hj Jamaludin. masih lagi tiada penambahan dan tiada pengurangan (Nauzubillah.. minta2 dijauhkan).NURUL ASWAD(berdiri paling kiri) dah ada ura2 bercinta tapi masih lagi merahsiakan percintaannya.aku tau tu. bile la nak dapat kak long ni. :) NUR RUZAINI(pki bj kurung kunun2 senyum manis tu) meneruskan penguasaan nya dekat UIA, dia masih mengekalkan rekod anak pakcik jamaludin paling pandai.tapi kantoi dating kat kedai makan alor gajah. sukahati la ani oi, yang penting ko pandai jaga diri. MOHD SHAHRUL ASHRAF(berdiri tengah2) dah jadi rakan masjid kat poli behrang.. bagus2. SHARUL AZFAR, baru dapat result PMR. bercita2 besar nak masuk UTP. dia kata best. (mcm abg dia..) pemain bola yang aku rasa terer skit kot dari aku. dan king and queen of the castle, HJ JAMALUDIN & HJH KATIJAH.(awal taun ni jugak ibu n ayah selamat menunaikan haji) what else to say other than I LOVE U SO MUCH.

itulah sedikit sebanyak coretan taun 2008.diharap taun 2009 ni menjadi titik tolak hidup aku untuk menjadi seorang yang berguna. at least berguna untuk diri sendiri. selamat berjuang kepada aku yang berumur 25 tahun~~

semoga aku menjadi 'orang'... AMIN..

money talk

just went back from having 'special-less-ingredients-home-made' spaghetti.nnti nak lagi er u :P tq.. tq.. im not a big fan of spaghetti pun actually but miraclely tonight i do eat one whole plate of it. hehehe :)

at this moment i do struggling with a few things that related with money and future. 3 big things. CAR, HOUSE, and so called DUIT-KAWIN.hahaha

the thought of money (or the lack of it) almost always depress me. My mother for one, is the champion for invoking the state of my financials. Like the black holes, its a discussion that has no ending. Most times i just choose to walk away in the midst of her trying to prove her point as i know trying to prove mine would be futile.

its a sad affair, really. which is why i try to avoid discussing it though i know the fact of matter is, it will never go away. with more money, comes more responsibility, and more importantly, bigger desiress. Nothing could be further than the truth with someone claiming that their lifestyle will remain unchanged from the moment they move from a unpaid graduate to that management executive.-rubbish!!

" you have to put a side a fixed amount of savings every months that u can never ever touch", said a friend of mine that i i know is reliable enough when it came to money matters. "fair enough" i said to myself. i thought to myself, i can do it.

"work your expenditure to the very last detail."she added. Difficult with some pesky miscellaneous cost incurred from time to time, but i suppose, achievable.

"do not even think to get a credit card until u are REALLY stable to have one" she looked at me forcing to prove her point. "gila la minah ni" I retorted silently. this is 2008 honey, a card is essential.plus my jobs, sometimes required this valuable plastic things.

" try following those simple, basic rules and you ll be fine. trust me". truth is, i was anything but. not content with just swallowing it all like a fish. i explained to her my work life, parents fee, the things that essential and a few hundred bills that i have to account for every months. " then maybe you need to rethink your lifestyle. ask yourself all the time, do i really need this?" she finally added. that needless to say shut me up good.

from time we are born, we are so accustomed to all creature comforts that we get. they say changes comes with age and although i have toned it down a notch, i must confess. i do enjoy a good meal with my friends, once a while. but after that conversation on that fateful evenings, i founds my self assessing every situation, even when I'm buying a hair gel.

" Do i really need a gatsby when i can just by bryllcream?", " Do i really need that trousers even if they are the "in-thing" now?" " do i really need to eat at 'MESRA-MALL' instead of 'nasi-ayam-putih-sebelah-post-office'?" i do admit that sudden changes does not create a warm fuzziness deep within me. i still grumble and drag my knuckles on the ground, but more than anything, I'm curious to see if this will actually help me in a long run.

"think long term" that's my mantra for the moment. can also take as a new year resolutions. every time i walk past CK boutique and see those nicely-tempting jeans, "think long term!!" Every time i hold those feather-light weight Nike boots, it hits me like a tones of bricks " think long term!!"

so like beyonce, i shall be 'fighting temptations' and begrudgingly haul myself to the bank every months to save a fixed amount of money.

in the meantime, should any of you, could give me advice or anything, which one, "new CAR or new HOUSE" and any suggestion for the new valuable house.(places and price)

p/s: past few weeks, there's one anonymous (or more than one) had struggling giving me comments that smeels like marah, dendam or bengang. i dont know. if I'm doing any wrongs to you, I'm sorry. i cant publish ur comments but anyhow , thanks for visiting. :)

Awak..

"Aku senang jalan perlahan,

tapi sekarang aku sedang berlari..dan tak berhenti..

seakan aku ini senang lari

Aku senang sesuatu yang lurus,

tapi sekarang aku bari dari kiri dan menuju ke kanan

seakan aku senang berbelok-belok

Aku senang matahari,

tapi sekarang aku lebih menanti malam,

seakan aku senang dengan kekelaman

aku bermimpi tentang pelangi,

tapi sekarang aku sedang menunggu mendung

seakan aku suka dengan hujan

aku mulai tak tau

dunia berputar,akupun berputar

padahal dulu aku punya poros,

tapi sekarang berbeda

aku melanglang buana dalam zaman

semakin kehilangan

dan kaki semakin rapuh dalam berpijak..

sudah..lelah..aku tak suka aku

aku mau aku

yang dulu...

aku mencari aku

aku kehilangan aku"

dengar seperti mustahil, tapi aku perlukan masa yang dulu.

Karma

What u give, ull get back. thats hows karma works. on my side, i should belive in Qada' n Qadar. everything that happen to u or what ever things that u done, always have consequence.buat baik, di balas baik, buat jahat di balas jahat. simple is it?

thats what im feeling rite now, im in zone where, ill get what ever ive had done.now i feel the pain, dulu aku tak kisah, ikut suke.. but its okay, ill take it as a learning process.

one mistake ruin everything. everything that ive had build struggly.

am i deserve this?

if i got a chance to fix it, would the result will be fairytales-happyly-ever-after?

p/s: if u read this, just want u to know that, im still me. n i missed the old us.